tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8260283401409623537.post2038910631397934751..comments2021-05-10T17:48:27.310-07:00Comments on Combat Boots & Pointe Shoes: Memoirs of a Bullied KidMama Bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312816675472641719noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8260283401409623537.post-63874193425646996362012-01-04T17:26:30.389-08:002012-01-04T17:26:30.389-08:00Once I was driving by a middle school and noticed ...Once I was driving by a middle school and noticed several boys bullying a boy at a public bus stop. He was holding onto the pole, shoulders hunched, looking down and trying to endure. It was a busy street, but noone helped. <br />I quickly flipped my car around, pulled into the school parking lot and told those boys to leave. They told me they were supposed to ride the bus and would not. I didn't have a cell phone, so I told them I would call the police; that they had lost the priveledge of riding the bus. I got the principal and asked him to handle it, and he was out there in a flash. <br />Every time there is bullying, if all the people in the area turned and said it had better stop, it would. Children cannot do this, however. They need adults to do it. <br />A detrimental myth is that "kids need to learn to work it out themselves." The research does not support that. Children are behaving that way because they lack understanding or skills. Adults must walk them through it, put consequences in place, and support positive resolution for both parties. <br />Most educators are listening. Any time you hear an adult tell of being bullied you are speaking of the past. But it must be a constant conversation by all of us. Cell phones change things. We can take pictures, call for help, let a child call a parent. And we need to let adult bullies know it won't be tolerated. They create little bullies. Social pressure is very powerful.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8260283401409623537.post-16218052745268293472012-01-04T17:11:58.125-08:002012-01-04T17:11:58.125-08:00This is such a touching article. Bless the author...This is such a touching article. Bless the author for writing such a powerful piece. <br />Once at a professional conference we were discussing school bullying and a man stood from the audience and told this story. He described being a big, early-maturing jock and that he picked on a certain boy all through high school. He described a day when he slammed that boys head against the school bus window and them smeared his face in the blood. <br />Fast forward a few years. He had changed, grown up and was now a high school principal. That very boy he had bullied came into his office with his own adolescent son, who was being bullied. Then he told us; "And then I had the privelege of apologizing to that father in front of his son, and tell him I would do everytyhing in my power to make it right." <br />I have also had several adults tell me they have had former childhood bullies apologize to them, and how powerful that is. Bullying shapes lives.<br />The research also shows that bullies often have bad outcomes. Their world view says the world is a dangerous place where people are always looking to get you. That many accidental emotional or physical injuries are done "on purpose." They have trouble keeping friends, finishing school, having healthy relationships or holding down jobs. Eventually their own kids often reject them. <br />When we stand by and do nothing we are bullying by proxy. We all need to act in whatever spere of influence we have.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8260283401409623537.post-27524352139859909372012-01-04T16:49:05.390-08:002012-01-04T16:49:05.390-08:00The other day my husband and I were looking at our...The other day my husband and I were looking at our high school year book. It is so sad, because as an adult I now understand how hard some of those kids had it. Either from being bullied, difficult home situations, academic struggles with little or no help, or all of them. I know because there were signs that an adult would recognize. Knowing a kid or family need help does not mean they will accept it, but it should always be offered. The only way a person can accept help is if they feel valued and respected from someone who cares and is not harshly judging.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8260283401409623537.post-87730309144968654192012-01-04T12:11:37.902-08:002012-01-04T12:11:37.902-08:00This should be an eye opener for a lot of parents ...This should be an eye opener for a lot of parents and teachers. Hurts my heart to know that kids deal with this pain daily.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com