Fun and Silly Pictures

my cool dude!

My bear made a really cool  dragon and was so proud of it he asked me to take a picture of it!!!

This grin is just showing how proud he is of his creation.

Then he asked Mama to make one and so she put her mad skills to use, and voila you get this awesome looking dragon. he he

Grandma  and granddad Bear sent him some awesome Jammies!

I see you!!!

He loves his dragon cape!

Yes my little boy loves to do headstands.

 

 

XoXo- Mama Bear

Christmas Time 2013

Wow so I am super late posting about Christmas. But hey at least I am getting to it within a year. lol

We stated out the morning pretty rough. At 5 a.m. Poor baby bear had an air bubble in his tummy from his night feeding. (common with children with feeding tubes) He woke up screaming and crying. I tried rocking him but wasn't fast enough. So he lost his entire night of feeding all over the two of us. And I mean the bed, hair, clothes, everything.  so I shut and locked the bedroom door so a cute little baby bear couldn't see that Santa had in fact visited.

We stripped the bed, the pillows, ourselves, and threw it all in the washer. Then we climbed in a nice warm shower and cleaned up. Unfortunately our Christmas Jimmer Jammers (pajamas) were not going to make it for pictures. lol but oh well.  After we were once again so fresh and so clean and ready for the day's excitement I dashed down the hall in the dark to plug in the tree, boot up the computer to record, and turn on the lights. I realized while I was doing this I could not prevent bear's from seeing. I didn't want him to see what was to come, but if I closed the bedroom door he would freak out and cry. we already had a rough morning, and we didn't need more tears. so I placed the baby gate in front of the door. He could still see so while I was putting the finishing touches on everything he screams out....... SANTA!!!  It was so cute, and I wish I could have got that on film. Oh well. So I loaded the camera and got ready for the festivities.

Now while you look at pictures I was also recording. I was also having so much fun that I forgot to pick up the camera to take pics a few times. But I am hoping I can take some shots from the recording off of my computer. I just have to find the time for it first. lol  I will say this one last thing. This was by far the best Christmas I have had in the last 13 years!!! It was so much fun to be able to finally have a fun Christmas in this house. ;0D I hope you enjoy the pictures.

Santa has gone a little overboard this year. But his lovely wife figured it was well deserved seeing as how baby bear had just had a surgery, just had had his daddy deploy, and was having a hard time adjusting.

who knew a little spit shine could really spiff up some second hand toys. ;0D

when in doubt just dump the stocking out! lol

dressed up just like his Papa!!

awesome new bath toy

he loves his fort!

what a mess of fun chaos!!

he was checking out his new kitchen that I found. A girls was getting rid of it because the movers lost the kitchen sink and faucet. I figured who the heck cares. lol Bear's loves it!! But then..... his fort fell........TIMBER!!!

This look he  giving me just cracks me up!

Oh Mama, your not supposed to take pics of everything. lol

Notice his headlamp. He wears this everywhere. He even wants to go get the mail in the dark so he can wear it while walking up the long driveway.

by 10 a.m. he had crashed out.

I noticed later on in the day that he was really quiet with his toys. Oh crap....what's he getting into? Yah he opened the markers from Santa.....

whoops....my bad. I should have been more on top of it. lol

Giddy up cowboy!!!

He loves his therapy trampoline

 

XoXo- Mama Bear

Whispers of Failure

I had this huge post planned and even typed it out. But I don't want to be a whiny victim.

As I have been making changes in my life. new e-mail (I had the last one since I was 14 I think, and it felt time to grow up and have an adult e-mail. lol) Changing my blog name that is something of my own. not something that ties me to another person, not something that associates me with something or someone else.  I am trying my best to become a better me, and a more independent me. Not someone who is so independent on another that I do not even exist anymore.

Sunday I tried to go into the Relief Society class. I was feeling pretty confident in the day and went for it.  We started reciting the Relief Society declaration

 But just seconds in a loud sob escaped me while hearing the part that says: Dedicate ourselves to strengthening marriages, families, and homes.... I wanted to yell out B.S. and I was quickly on my way of having a public cryfest which I did not want to do. So I was luckily right by the door and just grabbed my purse and made a fast exit.  I checked on Baby bear in the nursery and he was playing and having fun. So I ran out to the car and hid where I could try to pull myself together in private. But then I was worrying that what if something happened to bear's and they were looking for me. And so I came back in, but opted out of more humiliation and just stayed in the hall. Well ALL of the relief society council decided to keep coming out to talk to me. They all tried to invite themselves over for a visit and I kept declining and stating that life is hectic right now and I just cannot right now. Thanks but no thanks. But they were not taking the hint. So they brought me up in the weekly meeting and were all afraid they had offended me somehow. So then I am getting phone calls about it. Ughhhhh  So let me lay it out here okay.

I am fragile right now. Okay. While I am mourning the loss of my life that I had, and the life I thought I was going to have, I am also trying to make sense of this chaos. Just respect that, and please give me some time. It feels like I can't even catch my breath enough to try to make some good changes in my life. So right now all I am doing is treading water trying to keep my head above it.  My full focus is on taking care of my little man right now, and not myself. So just give me a little time. And at the same time respect that your time table on what you think I should be doing, accomplishing, and changing, probably is not the same time table as mine. (nor should you expect it to be.)

Just be gentle with me, respect my decisions right now and what I am trying to do with my life, and before you say or do anything to me ask yourself first    ( this going to help or hinder her life?)

Thanks
XoXo- Mama Bear