February 4, 2013

Heckedy Peg

Sometimes I feel like this fictional character. Heckedy Peg who's lost her leg, who is ugly and an old lady. 

I read from some one's blog the other day about hating how we look so badly that we stay out of pictures on purpose. I feel like that a whole lot. In fact any time we go anywhere I am the picture taker. So of course it is easy for me to keep out of the pictures.

But what I wanted to write about is how rude people are. So here it is:

I KNOW I AM FAT!! You don't think I haven't noticed my pants size go up? You don't think I have tried to stop this and OBVIOUSLY failed?!!  You don't think I have cried over this and tried and tried again to lose weight?

Well here it is. I hate it so much that even when I dream, it's my skinnier happier self. It is depressing, and to have people comment on your weight, have it limit your ability to do things, and to feel like the most disgusting thing in the world is punishment enough. But to have people give me dirty looks, treat me differently, and shut me out is just over the top rude. I can't stand it.

I beat myself up enough over it, you don't need to do the same.  I am trying my best to exercise and eat right. But I have my own battles that weigh me down and trip me up constantly. So please do not judge me, do not pity me. Just treat me like a human being.

XoXo-  Mama Bear

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