Well I was about to head off to bed, but I saw an article on MSN and it got my creative blogging juice flowing. (Okay did that make sense? lol) Okay so here is what happened.....
I was sitting on my comfy couch....(still am) and I was shutting down the ole pink computer when I saw a news article......The title: Moms Protest Target Stores I clicked on it thinking why.....what happened at Target. I need to stay up to date on things like this now...even though I am new to the Mommy life....I am still a Mama Bear now, and need to be aware. (at least that is what I tell myself)
So I click on the article and find that it is really about a boat load of women who were breastfeeding in public out of protest all because another woman in some small Texas town whined about it on her facebook status and that caught the attention of the NIP....or in other words....the group of women who.....(Dun, Dun, Dun.....) Nurse In Public!!!! (lighting just flashed across the screen flashing black and white!!!) Yah I wasn't scared when I read it. Personally I wondered if it was a bunch of women who don't shave their legs or armpits. You know the Granola girls....
So someone wasn't treated just right when they were nursing in public at a Target store. Apparently she was in a corner being discreet about it. Cool....Good for her. She was hassled by some employees, and then given incorrect info from a CS rep that said the law does not apply in the Target store. Now personally......If this had happened to me I would have been really embarrassed about the entire thing. Yes I would have been upset.....but not so much as to condone a Nurse In where hundreds of women go to a store in protest of the horrible way she was treated and Nurse so openly in public.
Now don't get me wrong......I understand that a Baby needs to eat. I understand that they don't wait for you....you wait on them hand and foot....and sometimes dang it you have to drop what you are doing and feed them NOW...or 5 minutes ago......or their entire world might fall apart. lol But I also don't feel it is something that has to be done while standing in line at the store. I mean personally I think it is something very, very special between you and your child. I think it is a way to connect to with your child. How are you doing that while walking down the isle trying to pick out a new shampoo, or nail polish color? I think it is something private. I am not saying women should have to hide while doing this....but I am saying that I think it is something very private. I personally would go to my car or a dressing room in the early days when I was trying with my son. He could never latch, so I have ended up pumping this entire last year. And that means interrupting shopping, eating, and whatever else I am doing to go pump. I mean people would have a huge cow if I was pumping while shopping. I have done it in a dressing room, restroom, my car, a few friends bedrooms, a few hospitals when I couldn't make it home in time. I have even pulled over on the side of the road, and while driving.
My point is.....I really believe this is something that should have been dealt with by contacting the branch GM, and if it didn't seem resolved or that they were not aware of the law....then contact the corporate office and let them deal with it. I mean is it really necessary to have this big showy nurse In and flaunt it all over the country...in a way harassing Target Inc. for a few employees mistakes?
I view breastfeeding as something sacred, special, and private. NOT a public affair. And also I don't want some perv watching me.
I would love to know your thoughts. Only kind words....No arguments please... ;0)
XoXo-Mama Bear
-So maybe my point did not come across the way I wanted it. I never said all nursing mom's should hide. I don't believe in that. I have no problem with a Mama nursing in public, Church. I thought I came across as supportive to nursing, just not the Nurse In. I meant when I said only kind words....not to attack with words...I wanted your point of view in a kind way, I did not say only my point of view. I love you ladies, and I love being a mom. Just because I choose not to do this so openly, does not mean I think that other women don't have the right to do so. I usually need a plug to pump, so if that means I have to sit in a locker room bathroom...so be it. I never meant to come across as if I choose to be private then others should as well. It is how I choose to live my life, not how I think others have to. I just don't think a Nurse In is the way to go about things.
Thanks ladies!! ;0)
Eating is private? Come on. If your kid can use a bottle in public, mine can nurse. I dare someone to challenge me while nursing in public. Mama bear anyone? :)
ReplyDeleteshe did contact all the hire ups. not one person offered an apology to how 8 employees treated her. to me that's an attack. she should have been left alone. If she was comfy nursing where she did they should have left her alone.
ReplyDeleteSo if feeding your child is such a sacred, personal thing, please take your bottle and feed your child in the car or dressing room. Ridiculous right?
ReplyDeleteThe difference between pumping in public and nursing in public is nursing is protected by law, pumping is not.
ReplyDeleteShould the woman denied her vote have contacted her local voter's office? Should the slave have taken up his or her lack of freedom with the slave master? No ... Target is a huge corporation & the only way to reach the wee tiny brains of those who condoned this oppression is to have every nursing mother tell every Target store that such despicable ignorance will not be tolerated.
ReplyDeleteHahaha... Only kind words that align with your thinking, right?
ReplyDeleteIf eating is so sacred - how about you go eat in the bathroom. No one wants to see that!!
As another marine wife, I must say how ashamed I am to know you are part of the same community as me. I suppose you'll be very displeased to run into me nursing my child at the commissary or px or anywhere else I see fit. You don't have to be a hippy to feed your child something nutritious (and free plus all of the medical benefits) instead of a bottle. I think you need to do some research, ma'am. You obviously aren't fully aware of the benefits of nursing a child. Like the fact that sometimes you are engorged and cant wait. Like how if your child cries you leak milk. Like how nursing can help prevent cancer in the mom and child as well as obesity. Nursing raises your Childs IQ typically an entire point higher than a child who is formula fed. Nursing children are less likely to have ADHD or pneumonia or the flu. Nursing in a bathroom is not only disgusting but you can actually get bacteria in your milk from doing that (and it is very hard to treat). If you understand babies sometimes need to eat NOW why don't you understand that also means if I'm in line at the commissary with a buggy full of cold items and I really need to pay and get home? Am I supposed to drop what I'm doing and go to a bathroom (or home) and come back later? You'd never get anything done. That isn't reasonable. The real truth is you are just uncomfortable. Probably due to being uneducated on the topic or not seeing it enough in real life. You probably HAVE seen it but didn't know what you were looking at. Had you rather have a screaming kid in the store or a kid in a baby sling nursing quietly while mom grabs the groceries?
ReplyDeleteShe does breastfeed. Did you not read the article???
DeleteShe simply has to PUMP and bottle feed due to him never latching right.
In a situation like that, yes, privacy IS needed.
She claims no issue on those who can easily pop it out and go, as she quotes:
"I am not saying women should have to hide while doing this....but I am saying that I think it is something very private."
Oh and here is something: Corporate was contacted as well as the manager. Corporate told the women that she "shouldn't flaunt it" please read the entire story before going on a tirade hating on nursing mamas
ReplyDeleteSo, you are just jealous because you couldn't get YOUR son to latch so everybody should have to hide out since that is what you do to pump?
ReplyDeleteWhy go and hide in a closet if you can feed on demand anywhere? You know how often a baby would nurse- 8-12 times a day. 8-12 times a day I need to go hide and nurse in private? You make no sense. Yes, it is a special bond, but no, it doesn't need to be hidden from public view. It is natural, normal, and beautiful. If someone is uncomfortable with it they have legs and can walk out of isle 9 where I am looking for a cute nail polish color thanks! I am too busy to be hiding in a closet 8-12 times a day for 20 minutes at a time. Forget it.
ReplyDeleteYes something very private for about the first couple weeks lol then you just do it when you need to because a lot of babies eat every 2-3 hours and I'm not going to have a private discrete moment and hide in my house to make other people feel comfortable. Sorry. I feed my baby whenever I need to. I have 3 kids and a very busy life and If I stopped and dropped everything I was doing every time I was out to feed my new baby I would get Absolutly nothing done! Lol maybe some people who aren't in my shoes would never be able to understand why I would need to do "that" in the middle of the shampoo isle but I don't really care what people are thinking of me, I'm just trying to live my life and get things done.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your perspective but i am sure yu appreciate other perspectives. Especially sine your husband fights to support this great country an its freedoms. I love that you have the choice to nurse in a dressing room or car and i have the choice to nurse in a booth at a restaurant. Thanks for a different perspective
ReplyDeleteShe did contact the corporate customer service line and was again given bad information and treated rudely. I frequently nurse my little on in a carrier while we shop and it's still a special bonding time, even while buying shampoo. Oh, and I shave my legs too. I also wouldn't give you a second look if you chose to pump while shopping at my local store, in fact I'd cheer you on for being such an accomplished mama (I've never mastered pumping hands-free). It's actually an incredibly recent thing in history that we've started seeing nursing as a private thing. Until the 1900's it was generally accepted by most classes and culture groups that when baby was hungry, you just fed baby wherever you happened to be. I've been breastfeeding for all but 6 months of the past 4 years, 2 months of that nursing two babies at one time. If I'd run for the car or the dressing room every time I needed to feed someone, I don't think I'd ever have finished grocery shopping in that time. *lol*
ReplyDeletecorporate complaints don't change anything, that's the problem. Women are objectified every day in pop culture. Which I actually don't have quams with, great, good for sex and sales. But why is it not also OK to be seen nursing? On a corporate level of course target will side with the mom and apologize, but that is because the problem isn't target. The problem is antiquated social perception, thus, the reason for the nurse in (The nursing mom's were respectful to target and it's patrons). To grab the attention of society, in hopes of causing people to question their own real feelings on the issue. I know so many people who used to be offended at NIP, but aren't anymore, they used to be offended because "they never really thought about it before", and once they really examined the logic, they realized it was dumb. I'm only half granola, I shave my arm pits, wear MAC make up, and dress my kids in ridiculously unnecessary cutesy clothes, and I whole heartedly support nursing in public. I didn't attend the nurse in because no one in my area cared, and I'm at my target all the time nursing, so it wouldn't really be a nurse in, it would be Jacque at target again. :)
ReplyDeleteLadies, I know this is infuriating, but keep it in perspective. I know it feels really good to unleash all these great points and get angry, but do so in a compelling way. No one is going to be inspired to admit to themselves they've made an error in judgement if they feel vilified. We can be angry and aggressive, which I know we've EVERY right to be, or we can appeal to the better nature of those who don't see it our way yet.
ReplyDeleteI'm very sorry you didn't get to fully enjoy your breastfeeding experience but please do not take out your bitterness on those mothers and children who have no issues.
ReplyDeleteI do believe in the special breastfeeding bond, that it can be a very personal loving moment between mom and baby, and all that jazz. However, not every nursing moment need be a dropeverythingandgazedeeplyintoyourbaby'ssoul kind of moment.
Jillynne
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI'm not trying to be mean but your low cut ball gown to the marine corps ball is not really classy, its shows more clevage than the nursing shirts I own. I think it's pretty classless to say things about nursing babies in private whenever your clevage isnt private and you arent even fedding a baby with it ...just sayin
ReplyDelete:) funny you think of granola type women when you think of a woman, a mother, protecting her basic right to feed her child without question or harrassment. While breastfeeding is a great way to bond with baby that doesn't mean that its private or personal. A mother has to live the whole world doesn't need to stop just because baby is hungry. Honesty that's a major double standard. It's okay modern and acceptable for some to formula feed in public but a mother who choose the best option and most recommend option is gronola? Let me enlighten you. I spent 4 years modeling in Atlanta. I stomped down run ways all over the city. Usually wearing very little, my husband makes over 80k a year and I drive a sexy Audi s4 black on black.. I breastfeed. I do it in public. I refuse to own a cover... And any time my rights are violated I make a huge deal. Luckily.. nobody has said anything about how I feed my son but the day it happens you'll be reading about it. May want to fix your rediculious stereotype. Studies show women with phd, masters, and high powered jobs are mist likely to breast feed. Sorry for ny typing errors. I'm on my phone.
ReplyDeleteI see more of your breast in your lovely ball gown photo then I EVER showed NIP. Pumping ad nursing are not the same. In the midst of shopping would your pump start crying? Please, this is just a case of half reading and not looking deeper into a topic and blogging before bed (I know I have done it before and folks call you out on it, hey at least folks are reading your blog though no?)
ReplyDeleteI'll preface this by saying, I haven't read all of the comments on your post so I may, or may not have missed something.
ReplyDeleteMy viewpoint is this: Small children have the right to eat when they need to. They don't have the capacity to understand, "wait just a few minutes" they understand that "this REALLY hurts and I need you to fix it now". How many times have you gone to the grocery and someone is waling around with their kid that has an open bag of (insert not yet purchased snack product here) so that they remain calm for the remainder of the excursion. For anyone to say that a mother needs to schedule her day according to her baby's eating schedule, must not have ever tried. When babies are newborns, they eat CONSTANTLY; as they get older, they cluster feed. It is nearly impossible to tell when they are going to decide that they are hungry. If mother's had to wait to leave the house until they knew for sure their child wouldn't get hungry - well, they would not be able to leave the house until the kid is 5.
Men walk around with no shirt often (weather permitting) whether anyone likes it or not. Girls walk around in barely there clothing all of the time. I can't remember the last time I was in a hardware department and DIDN't see a "plumbers crack" - none of these incidences are "comfortable" for me (ok, maybe the hot guy with no shirt aspect, but that doesn't happen often enough)but I am not permitted to confront these people or ask them to leave.
I think that it is very sad that society in the USA has so sexualized women that even the most basic of human needs can not be naturally met without someone alluding to sexuality. Biologically, men and women's breasts are not all that different, men have mammary glands and are scientifically ABLE to produce milk and nourish offspring. So saying that because a man has a flat chest and a woman does not he can walk around topless. (pointing out that not ALL men are flat chested).
All of that being said, I do NIP; I wear 2 shirts - one covers my belly the other pulls up and covers the top of my breast while my daughter nurses. I have tried using a cover and it has been a fiasco every time and quite frankly it draws MORE attention. I tried to "hide" to do it; I went in the restroom - and then I had to feed my child while sitting on a dirty toilet in a dirty bathroom while a lady in the next stall had probably the WORST BM in the history of mankind. That was a life changing day for me. I vowed to never again feed my LO in a nasty bathroom. If I wouldn't feed her in MY bathroom at home, why would I do it when I am out somewhere? If I wouldn't eat in a bathroom, why would I inflict that on my helpless, choiceless child?
I attended the nurse in at Target. I had a coffee (decaf) at Starbucks, I did some shopping, I nursed my child. While you may think that Michelle Hickman should have just gotten over it, I say that statement could be made for numerous civil rights issues in the history of the United States. It would be different if this was one incident that happened and when the higher ups were contacted they took care of it, but they chose to ALSO make her feel second rate. That behavior is not acceptable toward any other person based on race, religion, sex, etc. so why should breastfeeding mothers have to tolerate it. The fact that NIP is frowned upon so widely across our country is the issue at hand. Despite that fact that there are laws protecting women's right no nurse in public, there are so many people and establishments that don't even realize that - that is the issue.
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ReplyDeleteI don't think that forcing someone into interaction with you while you nurse is appropriate (I would never get into a check out line while nursing, or order something while nursing) that is my own PERSONAL outlook. I also feel that if society didn't make such a big "stink" about NIP, there would be less "in your face" attitudes about it. I think that some women fully embrace the mama bear stance and challenge someone to say something to them so that they can "set them straight" (but I could be making an assumption. I don't know these women and I don't know the reasoning behind why they nurse their way, just as they don't know why I nurse my way.
I really wish that this whole "argument" would go away, in the sense that Breastfeeding IS normal, it IS natural, it IS healthy and it IS legal. Everyone should just try to be more empathetic to those around them - whether it is the nursing mother OR the "viewer"...
AJDanko-I really enjoyed your post thank you.
ReplyDeleteWhile many of you have taken to attack mode...please keep in mind that I have not said Mothers should not be able to Nurse in Public. I personally choose to be private about it. That does not mean that everyone of you have to as well. I was stating that I didn't believe in a Nurse In. I also asked for comments to be kind. It is possible for you to leave a comment, and not come across in a rude or attacking way.
I do believe that Nursing is Natural, Normal, and Healthy. My son is breast fed, and I will continue to do so as long as possible. I even pump for a friends baby in another state so he can have the same healthy benefits.
I am not calling breast feeding women Granola Girls....I stated that is what I WONDERED when I first started reading the article.
Here are some more comments from my FB: I love that you all have different views on this topic, I love you all. Thank you for participating in this discussion. How else do we learn and educate ourselves if we do not talk about it. ;0)
ReplyDeleteChanta- Apparently they don't know or care that your husband fights to keep your freedom of speech in tact... (it sounded better when I said it in my head. Lol)
3 hours ago
Jennifer- Sorry about that. I was thinking that when I read your post because some people can be sensitive when it comes to topics like this.
I agree with you Andrea and I think it should be a private matter.
3 hours ago
Kat- I still love ya, even when we do have differences of opinions (not saying I don't agree with you, but you know what I mean lol)
3 hours ago
Sandra-I feel you expressed your opinion without being rude in any way. And you're a mom so obviously you have personal experience. If someone can't respect that friends can have differing opinions as long as respect remains in tact them you don't want them as friends.
ReplyDelete2 hours ago
Nicole R- I did almost unfriend you :p jk jk What a boring life it would be if we all agreed on the same thing!
2 hours ago
MarvA- no way!! I kinda agreed with you and Like Nocole it would be boring ;/
51 minutes ago
Jamie- Eww... I'm sorry, I'm a mom and I hate when someone just flops out their boob right in front of you!
18 hours ago
Jessica- As long as you're covered I say nurse wherever you want. I'm not going to drag all three of my kids out to the car if my baby wakes up while shopping or eating in the cafe.
17 hours ago
Andrea- I am not saying that you can't nurse in public...I just don't agree with the Nurse In. I think it is Tacky
ReplyDelete17 hours ago
Maira- I nurse my baby and I think if you are covered why people will mind.. Is covered! And that is why there is so many things out there now days to do that job and if you don't like it... Just don't look at it.
17 hours ago
Mercedes- I agree with Maira. If you cover yourself while nursing I see no problem with doing it in public. But I agree with you about the nurse in it is Tacky!!
17 hours ago
Elizabeth-I read your blog and I agree with you. I nurse when my daughter is hungry but I won't do it in public. I will go to the car, bathroom, fitting room anywhere private BC I like my privacy and I'm not comfortable with doing it openly even if I'm covered.I don't have a problem with other people doing it either. Everyone does what they want and how they want but I think they should at least be covered
17 hours ago
Fenima- I would nurse in public and DEFINITELY COVER myself. Like Jessica , I wont go to my car or find a place private cuz' having more kids complicate everything.
17 hours ago
SunDee- Nurse-ins aren't about protesting one particular store or event. It's about changing society's view of breast feeding. There is nothing shameful about nourishing an infant. Women and our breasts have become so sexually objectified in our society that to see a breast used for it's actual biological purpose is shocking to people. That needs to change. I guarantee that you will see more breast shown in Targets swimwear advertising than any woman breast feeding and that includes those who don't use a cover. Heck, you're showing more breast in your marine corp ball photo! (And you look beautiful and it isn't at all indecent) I personally prefer to use a cover in public because it keeps my son from getting distracted. There is no way that I would ever feed him in a bathroom stall and I'm certainly not going to haul all the kids out to the car just because some people might be offended by the mere thought of breasts being used as God intended.
16 hours ago
Austin- I believe the point of it was that the lady was told to move into a fitting room to nurse her baby. I don't really see how this is any different then when women weren't "allowed" to nurse in a restaurant.. If your baby is hungry and your in the middle of doing something and you don't mind nursing in public then I don't see what the problem is with or without a cover. If other people are offended, DON'T look! Breastfeeding is a special bonding time between mommy and baby but I don't think it really matters where as long as your are comfortable with it, I know baby doesn't mind as long as they are fed ;) That being said, I am very shy and would personally like my privacy to feed.. However, in June with a toddler and newborn we will see how well that works! lol
9 hours ago
Amber- Bteastfeeding is a wonderful bond between mother and child I have done it with both ky kids and sometimes would cover up and other times wouldn't would I be disceate when patching my son on yes cuz I don't want everyone around to see but if I don't have. Cover I will not change my plans around just to feed him when u r feeding no one even notices u r unless they come up to u half the time they rink your just holding ur baby and I say go for it with the nurse in too many young children r having babies and all they think about when it comes to nursing is how gross it is or how their boobs will look when they r done educate by example
ReplyDelete8 hours ago
Amanda- I think it is amazing!!!! I think it was a great idea.. I personally do not think it is tacky at all.. I think tacky would have been walking around with their breasts out or refusing to.cover up.. or something like pumping in public how embarrassing would it be to be kicked out of a place just for feeding your child!!!! I totally support this. This is my opinion only and I respect everyone's opinion!!!
6 hours ago
Sandra- I personally breast fed but I would never go without a cover. You can nourish your child without exposing yourself. I know some may not agree with this but peeing is natural too. Would you want men to whip it out anywhere they feel like?
3 hours ago
Nicole R- Its ok I know some people are offended by people using formula it is what it is. I tried to be as private as I could with 1 child don't think I am going to be able to be like that with 2 but the most imprtant thing is we are all moms and we are all just trying to get through it and we should just stand together and not bash on one another cause God knows its hard enough already.
2 hours ago
From a man's prospective, I think you are all reading WAY too far into this. We ALL KNOW that breast feeding is the best thing for most if not all babies. No were in this blog is it stated otherwise or said that it shouldn't happen in public. She even said "good for her" for doing it. I've read that many of you STRONGLY believe in your right to feed when and where ever you want, and you know what good for you. You are a big girl and made a big girl choice. You also made the chose to hear what everyone else thinks about it, weather you care or not. This poor women was treated badly and that sucks for her in her little town, but a nurse in, really? I get it target is going to get their hand slapped by the media and public, but do you know wither you hide it under a cover or not EVERYONE knows what you are doing and there are sickos that get off on watching it happen. I get it boobs are highly over publicized, and that the media has made them a much more taboo thing then they are. I mean let's face it every other person in the world has them, and a majority of the public says you should hid them. Heck you would tolerate a man walking around with his penis hanging out for the world to see, even if it were covered by a hanky you would steer your child away from that guy so they don't see. I do believe that women should be able to nurse in public if they need to. I don't have a problem with it and would even go so far as to say a god given right. But to attack someone or even go so far as to say they are ashamed to be a military spouse with them... that's going way too far, whoever you are. Everyone is entitle to their opinion and to voice it your husband makes sure of that. And little Miss black on black Audi I look forward to reading in the news how you stood up for your rights. I mean that is what this country is based on people with such strong beliefs and values that they are willing to do what it takes for their rights to be enforced. They saying go's behind every great man there is an even greater women. That was true when it was first said and it rings true in all your posts. But again let's make sure when we post on the internet for all to see to hit every aspect of a topic and not just the things that push our buttons or reach an emotional hot spot.
ReplyDeleteShould call this the bitchy wives club, this'll be removed quickly, but that's okay. The writer didn't condone public nursing nor did she support it, she simply stated that she would PERSONALLY be embarrassed an before reading the article she had thought they were granola type people. Sounds to me like women today just don't wanna be told what to do and when, more of a power stuggle than what's good for your kid. Maybe thats why kids are having so many issues today, not enough tough love. I am proud of any mother who stands behind a Marine, pretty sad that someone would say such horrible things about anyone with an opinion. Enjoy nursing in public if you choose, but also take the consequences that come with it, just like when my kid is screaming bloody murder in public and I have to leave the store. Everyone is entitled to certain privacies and I for one, do not want to explain to my 5 yr old why someone is nursing their kid, again just my opinion. I have the freedom of speech and you damn well bet, I will use it as needed. Sad day when people will fight over something so trivial. Sorry to the writer of this column, my words are inappropriate and demeaning, but really how sad that women would attack in unprovoked words and opinions that should be kept to themselves. Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteThanks...this last post was great!! ;0)
ReplyDeleteWell her opinion seems to be shared by more than a few people and is directly conflicting with laws. This opinion is the reason why a lot of mothers do not end up successfully breastfeeding. I believe covered or uncovered, nursing or pumping, extended nursing or weaning at a year, etc we should all stand together. Support each other despite what our personal opinion is. You never know how much that will do.
ReplyDeleteyoure a fucking idiot.
ReplyDeleteDECEMBER 30, 2011 6:15 PM " Everyone is entitled to certain privacies and I for one, do not want to explain to my 5 yr old why someone is nursing their kid, again just my opinion."
ReplyDeleteWhy would explaining to your 5 year old that the woman is nursing her child be a bad thing? It is the biological norm.
I guess I am that Granola Girl with her unshaven legs who breastfeed wherever and whenever....in the presence of whomever. I do not own a cover. I agree with others the photo of you on the side for your Ball.....your dress shows way more than I do when I breastfeed my child. The difference between you & your dress...and I & my breastfeed child....your trying to look sexy, I'm not I am simply trying to make sure my child is fed.
That said I did not and would not attend the Nurse-In.
You sure are letting your ignorance show. You think eating is private? I certainly hope your fat ass doesn't graze in public then.
ReplyDeleteYou obviously never truly breastfed. I hope you only shoved a bottle in your babies mouth in the privacy of your own home or while sitting on a nasty public toilet. Who wants to see that, right? --- And you want to be sarcastic by calling us "classy"?! Of course, this would come from the wife of a mindless jarhead. Take your conservative views where they are wanted - maybe the Desert? We here in the good ole' FREE USA won't miss you. Good riddens.
It's not our problem that you weren't strong enough of a mother to fully breastfeed your child. Don't take out your personal faults on the rest of us.
I am sorry that you are being "attached" by other mommas and bloggers for your opinion. You are awesome for pumping so long with you babies and that really does take some time and effort. Kudos to you!
ReplyDeleteI understood what you were trying to say. I think maybe a little better phrasing would have done some good though ;)
For everyone else, I do not believe she was saying there is anything wrong with nursing in public. I think what she was trying to say is that the NURSE-IN (not nursing in public) was not the appropriate response. I have to agree with her. I am VERY pro-NIP. I did, I know many mommas who do it, and wish it was more common place. With that being said, I did not and do not support Nurse-Ins. I feel they send the wrong message and do not cut to the core of the problem.
You can read my take on the situation at my blog here if you are interested in hearing it- http://fluffybums.blogspot.com/2011/12/breastfeeding-agenda-target.html
And I just want to say again how sorry I am for the very unnecessarily hateful comments on here.
ReplyDeleteThank you Tara, It is getting exhausting getting all this hate mail. Maybe it is my bad that I did not word it just right.......I just find it awful that people feel this was an attack on them. Oh well. It is their given right to be able to voice an opinion. And since they all posted under Anonymous who knows...it could be one person. lol
ReplyDeleteAnd to "A Navy Wife"- Shame shame shame on you. Your comment is so uncalled for I don't even want to begin to address it. Until mothers can stop attacking each other like this no issue will ever be resolved.
ReplyDeleteI do not think you worded this well at all, if your intent was to come off as supportive of breastfeeding. Especially the comment about unshaven hippies. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteYou can't be seen as supportive when you say "I think you should be able to do this...but.."
I nurse. In public. Uncovered. I could sit here all day and explain the reasons why, but it would be a waste. So I will instead say that it is my legal right to do so, and nothing you or anyone else says can change that.
I participated, briefly in the nurse in. Did it accomplish anything? Well I will say, that stores all across the country made a point to educate their workers on their breastfeeding policy, which actually states that they are not to approach and redirect a nursing mother.
What do you know? Hundreds of people across the country *learned* something. Bam. Education!
Once you have a curious 5yr old, come talk to me about discussing what "that woman is doing over there." You'd be suprised what they figure out. I don't really care what you do and where you do it, its a matter of respect for other people's "rights." Crazy that the whole world doesn't revolve around the attitude of "whatever I wanna do and when" and screw everybody else. Something to think about? These hateful attacks are getting old and personally y'all need to move on and understand what the writer was saying instead of taking out of context. Belittling her efforts as a mother just showes your demeaning character and lack of compassion. So much for sticking together on any subject.
ReplyDeleteI would bf my daughter any where I had to! Honestly I would never do it uncovered but I flew with my daughter at 10 days old had sever people look at me but I didnt care I dared them to say something, I would if sued the pants off them, the law applies to the entire nation, also to the drain that wrote this every one has a right to voice thier own opinions, I wouldnt let everyone else get you down just take it with a grain of salt and move on, its okay not everyone will agree onothers opinions
ReplyDeleteHmmm... The ONLY reason people don't want to see a woman breastfeeding is because breasts are oversexualized. That is THE BOTTOM LINE! They see breasts as sexual objects, and the thought of that is just too much, so it's uncomfortable. It is NOT a private act, but sex is. Sex is not for public display, but breasts are for infantile nourishment.
ReplyDeleteGoodness sakes, people! She isn't anti-breast feeding or even anti NIP! She just doesn't agree with what she considers the spectacle of a Nurse- in. She is obviously committed to providing optimal nutrition for not only her son but someone else's child as well. Please stop trying to vilify her. I had to pump for my first child and was lucky enough to be able to breast feed the next two. Let me tell you, pumping takes way more dedication and sacrifice. Just imagine trying to rip your own nipples off 8 to 10 times a day! She deserves more credit than she's getting.
ReplyDeleteOk so I am going to post. Your comment that you wondered if they were all Granola types that didnt shave there arm pits or legs was rude. But on the other hand some other people on here are also being rude. NO need for swear words people. This is her blog and her choose to write what she wants. Remember ladies WE are CLASSY so lets act like it.
ReplyDeleteWow some of you should be ashamed for the mean and hateful statements you have made.
ReplyDeleteAnd to the navy wife, I am another Marine wife and how dare you say mindless jarhead! You just showed us your ignorance by saying that. Your comment pist me off the most by attacking the Marine Corps and Nonnie. I guess I could call your hubby a fag? Are you okay with that?
Everyone is entitled to their thoughts and feelings that is what our country is about. So what if Nonnie didn't word it the way you "perfect" mommies want to hear it.
Who really cares anyway? If it wasn't for the mothers out there who didn't cover up and flopped their boob at anytime and anywhere maybe we wouldnt have this problem. Personally I would not want to do that in public incase some sicko watched me so he could rub one out later. And if you don't think something like that could happen you are ignorant.
I love you all.....Thank you for leaving your opinion even if you couldn't accomplish it in a civilized or kind way.
ReplyDeleteI respect your opinion and I realize you were not trying to say that NIP is wrong. I however believe that God has given us breasts to feed our children. We should not be ashamed to nurse our children and while it is a special bonding experience it does not have to be private. And as far as the comments someone made about explaining it to a 5 year old. Tell them that the woman is feeding her baby. That God created breasts to feed babies. Just the fact of having to explain it to a 5 year old makes me realize how out of touch our society is. I nursed my daughter in front of my 5 and 7 year old nephews without a cover. My sister didn't nurse so of course they were curious for a few minutes then they moved on. From that point on they just looked at it as a normal occurance and didn't bat a eye. That is how we all should be. We have sexualized breasts so much that we cannot even look at them as a way to nourish our children! I also personally don't think that a nurse in is wrong. There is nothing wrong with peaceful protesting. If it was about any other issue people wouldn't make such a big deal about it.
ReplyDeleteI do find it sad how mean-spirited some were in response to your post. You must understand though, when you make an assertion in a very public way people are going to respond and simply saying "it's just my opinion" does not mean your opinion should not and will not be questioned. And you did make a rather rude generalization with your granola comment. That does not give people the right to blast you with such derogatory language. What a better world we would live in if we could have respectful dialogue with people we disagree with.
ReplyDeleteI find your post ambiguous. You say you agree with nursing and nursing in public, but when the right to do so is questioned or violated, we should just go with it. While nursing is bonding, it is also very simply, eating. I will not go into the benefits, and at times necessity, of nursing in public for those who are comfortable to do so. You seem to accept that. What I read in your post was people should not have held a nation wide nurse in. She did contact the managers of the store and was given a response completely against the law. What do you think she should have done? I agree I may have done nothing, especially with my first when I was only 23. I probably would have been angry, but mostly embarrassed. I am glad she took a stand. What she did, and the many others who took a stand with her, makes life easier for my daughters in the future. So I ask you in all sincerity, when her rights were ignored, what should she have done?
And to the poster that some people get excited by nursing - whatever. People are sick everywhere, open toe shoes, shorts, using the bathroom. I will not live my life in fear and allowing sickos to determine what I do.
The responses here, on both sides of the fence, make me really sad.
Thank you for the last two posts!! They were very well said!! ;0)
ReplyDeleteWow. I'm what they call a lactivist. I firmly believe that mothers have the right to nurse in public and shouldn't feel like they HAVE TO hide or cover up. I'm also one of those granola types. Now, I DO shave my legs and pits(with a razor made of recycled yogurt containers) and I wear deodorant (that I make myself). We're not all dirty hippies. Haha. Personally, I like your ball gown in the photo. I'm also a ballerina and I love the pic of the pointe shoes. I think maybe you didn't word things very well and people didn't understand the true intentions of your post.
ReplyDeleteAs a militant lactivist, I am DISGUSTED by what I'm reading in the comments. It's in poor taste to come on here and bash you for your opinion. Just because someone has a different opinion does not mean it's to wage personal attacks against them. Calling your husband a "mindless jarhead," calling you fat, making fun of your dress and ripping you a new one about pumping - what is this? Junior high? You ladies do a huge disservice to the cause of breastfeeding rights. It's comments like the ones above that make the rest of the world look at us like we're crazy boob nazis. That kind of behavior will never get us the support we want. There is a big difference between saying, "hi, I completely disagree with you and here's why...," and, "You're wrong and you're a fat, stinky poopyhead..." Which method do you think will garner the most positive results?
I have been taking peeks at this on my phone for a couple of days and just now have the time to add my thoughts. By way of information both my B.S. and M.S. are in child development, I am staunchly pro-breastfeeding and lecture on the topic both at the university level and to parent groups. I only add this to inform, as parents do not need degrees to be educated about the benefits of breastfeeding. I do not wish to devalue the fathers, but since the majority of responders have been mothers I will primarily address you. I will not discuss benefits of breastfeeding since those have been partially covered. I will mainly speak to what took place on this blog.
ReplyDeleteI have the belief that when women can respectfully collaborate, they can be a powerful force for change. There are many inspiring stories out there. However, it is not only WHAT we do, but HOW we do it; our “tone.” I have no idea about the original story. When I read it my first reaction was to take up Michelle Hickman’s argument. Still, I do not know “how” she communicated with the employees at Target. Was she respectful but firm? I hope so. If there was any aggression, it would have been a fail. Is the “nurse in” based on accurate information and well- staged? All those busy women are trusting that Michelle handled the situation well in their effort to change stereotypes and educate others. It sounds as though some of the posters have first-hand knowledge and can better comment on that than I can. What I can say is that I was there for the `60s. Burning bras brought derisive laughter. It was only when women dropped aggression and opted for education, collaboration and a respectful tone that there was lasting change. Again, I do know the tone of the protest.
It is what took place here that I wish to address. This blogger could have left out the comment about shaving. Although I took it as humor rather than attack, it created distance. Other than that, she was not only respectful, but seemed to truly invite the thoughts of other women. Some subsequent posts were respectful and informed, adding great value to the conversation. Bravo, women! You understand your true power.
ReplyDeleteThat is why it has been so disturbing to read the toxic, uniformed posts. I cannot say I read them all. When there were signs of foaming at the mouth from those who had obviously not read the original blog, I moved on. It serves no purpose to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
The disappointing part is that there are still so many women lacking effective skills for creating change. Apparently the old belief that if you take a good stick to someone first, they are then ready to receive your message is still out there. Shrill screeches and hair pulling tend to perpetuate the very stereotypes the posters seem to be objecting to. As one who treats families struggling with issues of child abuse and domestic violence, some of the posts made me tremble. It wouldn’t necessarily follow that someone employing a venomous style in one situation would mistreat a noncompliant child, but it would certainly be a red flag.
Peace, women! I, myself have far to go. I can only imagine you felt misunderstood by a powerful person to react in such toxic styles. Just know there are more effective ways to make your point. And thank you for the posters who did share wisdom with respect. You are the ones who help the world see breastfeeding women as possessing brains, power, and the ability to nurture. Hopefully that was the tone of the protest.
Love, Love the last two posts....Thanks for sharing!!!
ReplyDeleteAndrea, I'm so sorry that some of these women said really mean things. I mean I do not approve of you calling "granola girls," even jokingly, but wow some women's comments phew....those words are piercing. You'd thing the holiday season help some to be more compassionate. I'm for nursing, and love love love nursing. I nursed my two older children and currently nursing, yes, both my babies, as you know I have twins. I prefer to cover myself. I do feel uncomfortable to see women who nurse uncovered, but if that what they like to do so be it. I just don't think that people should be attacked for not being able to nurse either. One of my twins was in tube feeding for 7 wks while she was in NICU, I didn't wanna pump, but I had to. Due to her heart condition, nursing worn her out. I longed to nurse her, but she would not even take bottle let alone nursing. When she came home it took me a good month and a lot of persistence to finally had her latch and nurse exclusively. But the next month when she didn't gain weight as much as she needed to, I had to supplement with formula with added calories. I didn't read all the comments in this post, but hope they are some people who understand that as much as we need to respect and support women who nurse, we also need not to attack or judge people who do not or cannot. We don't know other people's struggles.
ReplyDeleteFenima
No more comments will be published on this. Thanks so much for all who were kind, shared their point of view, and held a discussion. ;0)
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