March 13, 2010

So Sorry!!

I have been thinking of putting this up for a while, and I was not sure if I should or not. Those of you who knew me in my teenage years probably described me as Fun, outgoing, loud, obnoxious, and a go getter. I was not shy in any way, and nothing held me back. So looking at this description you wouldn't say that is bad, but pair that with the snotty-ness of a young teenager and you have a bad concoction! lol

Nothing scared me, I had no understanding of consequences,and so I embraced the world and all that it gave me. Now it gave me a lot of experiences I would love to give back, and it gave me some that have taught me a lot. But unfortunately some people got caught in it's cross hairs. And for that I am sorry. I have always tried to be nice to everyone!!! I know what it feels like when someone teases you, or judges you for no reason! I know how it is to be made fun of because you are different. I know how it feels when you are completely alone, you don't have a friend in the world you can share your pain with because you know whomever you tell will just judge you, and probably laugh at you. I know what it feels like to be in a room full of people feeling like you are screaming for help or for love, and no one hears you or cares. I know how it feels to be looked down upon because you don't quite fit in and are a little different.......I get it daily! And I really hope that in my life I have never intentionally hurt someone.

I have a motto in my life that I have adopted....I won't lie to you, I will tell you the truth, but I am not going to sugar coat it for you either. I will tell you how it is, and what I think about it. This can make a lot of friends, and at the same time, can really confuse or piss people off. I hate tip toeing around people because you don't want to hurt their feelings. You just end up hurting them worse in the long run because of it. If I see a problem, I confront it head on and fast to fix it....This scares people and probably makes me appear as to aggressive. How are people supposed to fix things in life if everyone is to scared to do it? How is a problem going to be solved if no one will take that initial step to do so?

So my whole point here is that You are in my life because I want you here. Those I don't want in my life...(M.I.L.) I have let you know.....But if I come off as a little aggressive sometimes just laugh at me. I am trying to fix something before it breaks, or I am trying to help. I run on high all the time. People may think I am stressed, and I always am, but I naturally run on high speed when doing a project, or trying to understand or accomplish something. Don't think I am freaking out, if it is a little much for you, just tell me. But if you are someone hurt by me, I am truly sorry. I never intend to do that. I hope I have been able to apologize to those I have hurt in the past. A 14 year old who is running through life at full speed may cause some damage.....If you are one of those innocent bystanders....I love you and am sorry!

Here are my sorry lyrics from Feist:

"So Sorry"

I'm sorry
Two words I always think
After you've gone
When I realize I was acting all wrong

So selfish
Two words that could describe
Oh actions of mine
When patience is in short supply

We don't need to say goodbye
We don't need to fight and cry
Oh we, we could hold each other tight tonight

We're so helpless
We're slaves to our impulses
We're afraid of our emotions
And no one knows where the shore is
We're divided by the ocean
And the only thing I know is
That the answer isn't for us
No the answer isn't for us

I'm sorry
Two words I always think
Oh after you've gone
When I realize I was acting all wrong

We don't need to say goodbye
We don't need to fight and cry
We, we could hold each other tight tonight
Tonight
Tonight
Tonight
Tonight...


XoXo-Andrea Carla

1 comment:

  1. Hey girlie! I knew you when you were that teenager and I have to say that we butted heads a few times, but man I love you girl! I love somebody who never sugar coats anything. I treasure the times that we were great friends and neighbors and I feel sorry for the times that we intentionally hurt each other (mostly over boys, lol) But, I have to tell you, you are an inspiration to me and I am a better person for having you in my life for those few short years. And back in my life thru this world of blogging. You will always have a friend in me!

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