Today I had another Dr. appointment. Riley and I had a good conversation before we went in about how I would be showing signs of labor. I wasn't putting to much pressure on the little man but just asking him to show some sort of a sign that he is getting ready to move on out soon.
So we went in and once again the Dr. said I wasn't ready. He was not seeming optimistic that Riley was going to be able to come out on his own. He said my cervix is thick and hard, and he said that it would take Magic to get Riley out. So he scheduled to induce me on January 22. I am not to sure how I feel about it yet, but he wanted to schedule me to at least give me a spot on his schedule....and then he says I can cancel if I change my mind.
I think I am just feeling overwhelmed with everything! I mean my house is no where near where it needs to be to be ready for baby, and......I am not feeling like I am going to get the help I need from the Man Husband. So I am stressing out. And then on top of that my MIL wants to come out and I have to say I an not okay with that at all! So my stress level is a little high right now. Aughhhhhhhhh
Well I will keep you updated if anything changes....Hopefully things improve a little.
XoXo-Andrea Carla
January 10, 2011
January 9, 2011
Things they are a changing!
So I have noticed small changes lately. It is starting to hurt more when I walk, and I am pretty sure my Riley Bug is moving further down on his way to move out. I am also showing other signs of getting closer to the big D-Day.
Riley has been moving around a lot lately. Some days he is all about ricking out in my tum tum.....and other days he is more interested in sleeping the day away. He does keep me awake most nights. Between visiting the little girls room, and my little Riley bug having a party in his room.......I haven't been getting much sleep. Lately I have been falling asleep around 1 a.m. and then waking every half hour or hour. Then I usually wake up around 6:30 or 7 a.m. and fall back asleep around 9 or 10 a.m. and wake up again every half hour or so. I have to say it is getting a little frustrating. I am sooooo tired. And I am afraid the circles under my eyes might start scaring my husband as they keep getting darker and darker. YIKES!!
I know that Riley needs to incubate a little longer....but I just want him to get out of my tummy so I can meet him!!! ;0)
I have another Dr. appointment in the morning.....let's hope he has some good news for me. I mean I only have two weeks left about! ;0)
Love you all
XoXo-Andrea Carla
Riley has been moving around a lot lately. Some days he is all about ricking out in my tum tum.....and other days he is more interested in sleeping the day away. He does keep me awake most nights. Between visiting the little girls room, and my little Riley bug having a party in his room.......I haven't been getting much sleep. Lately I have been falling asleep around 1 a.m. and then waking every half hour or hour. Then I usually wake up around 6:30 or 7 a.m. and fall back asleep around 9 or 10 a.m. and wake up again every half hour or so. I have to say it is getting a little frustrating. I am sooooo tired. And I am afraid the circles under my eyes might start scaring my husband as they keep getting darker and darker. YIKES!!
I know that Riley needs to incubate a little longer....but I just want him to get out of my tummy so I can meet him!!! ;0)
I have another Dr. appointment in the morning.....let's hope he has some good news for me. I mean I only have two weeks left about! ;0)
Love you all
XoXo-Andrea Carla
January 7, 2011
Happily Ever After
So for those who know me well. You all know that I have always wanted to be a mommy. I just felt it was something I wanted to do in my life. So when I finally found that someone who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.....I started to plan our future lives together in my head.
It consisted of Being happy, Chuck having a great job, me having our first child no later than when I was 25, and possibly having our second by then. I envisioned a cute little house, a nice car, and lot's of skipping and breaking out in song as we had a picnic in the woods. Little did I know that real life would smack us in the face and bring us back to reality. lol
We got married very young. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. But with so many people against our marriage we were determined to prove everyone wrong. Also I always felt guilty if I thought of not being with Chuck. I mean where would he go? It's not like his family would care. So we always stuck through the hard times and somehow made it. Then 9/11 happened and our world really changed. We had to grow up fast. It was not not a matter of trying to survive our immaturity at 20 years old....it was a matter of staying strong for each other as we faced the reality of war. We unknowingly became very dependent on each others courage to stay strong as he had to leave for deployment trainings, and buildups. His upcoming deployment strained us....but we survived the first one.
Starting a family had been set on the back burner for now. Chuck wanted to have a family, just not yet. He had such an awful example set before him.....that he wasn't eager to start one now. We still tried to stay strong for each other as we prepared for his second deployment, But the strain was really taking a toll. Not to mention we were both still very young and immature and really had no idea how to really make a marriage work yet.
Chuck left for his second deployment still a young boy and it was looking like my happily ever after wasn't so happy any more. This was a tough deployment for us. I was depressed and alone, and gained a lot of weight. But I managed to still write him every day. This was the worst deployment. Combat took it's toll on the unit. Chuck came home a changed man. We weren't sure where our Happily Ever After was, but we needed each other. I stopped taking anti depressants and birth control to see if that would help me. We took new orders and moved to a new base not far away. It was a good and bad move for us. We liked the area better....but we just weren't connecting. Chuck had changed his mind about having a family because of war and his family......and I watched as my 25th birthday came and went. I struggled to know what to do. I had married someone who wanted a family like me. And now that person didn't exist anymore.
We struggled through deployment #3 and found ourselves a little stronger by the end of it.
The fourth deployment came and was very different. Chuck was on a ship this time and wouldn't be in danger as much. We found ourselves growing closer over the deployment and needed each other more. It was a tough deployment for us to be separated. Normally we did fine during deployments as we are both very independent. But this time we needed and missed each others company. We had reached a new plateau in our marriage. We knew that Happily Ever After wasn't what we thought it would be....but we knew that we made a good fit 99.9% of the time. We knew that no one else would put up with out faults, and that we were good for each other. We missed each other a lot and by the time the end of the deployment came we couldn't wait to see each other. It was a wonderful homecoming and we had a great little welcome home honeymoon phase as they call it.
Chuck still was against having children and I ached inside as the reality was starting to set in that I may never get to fulfill my dreams. Chuck was considering making his job a career and so that meant constant moving and deployments. Constantly having to adjust to new surroundings, and of course always being apart. Chuck was really burned out from the last 4 deployments and needed some serious down time. So we accepted new orders for I&I staff further north. We had been told that this was a non-deployable unit.....but that is what we had been told in his first unit as well, and that is where he deployed twice. So we packed up our lives again and moved 6 hours north. We settled down and started our little lives here. I started working full time, and so did Chuck. He worked a lot harder than he normally did in units, but he also got a lot more time off. I was enjoying working and feeling like I was making a difference.
Then things changed and I found myself not able to work. We started attending our local ward and found it to be really amazing. We loved going to church on Sundays. But it didn't matter what I said or did Chuck just wasn't going to change his mind on starting a family. I struggled a lot with it, but tried to put on my brave face. I wasn't even sure I could have children seeing as how I had been off of birth control for 5 years now. We should have had more than one accident by then. But I tried to be the good wife, and not pester him about it. But seeing Chuck with other people's kids just made it worse. He is so good with kids, and they always love him. I just didn't understand. But I tried not to say anything.
I felt as though my life were passing me by. Everything I had hoped for in my marriage wasn't happening. I wasn't getting sealed to my husband for time and all eternity. I wasn't going to get to start a family and be a mommy. I would never get the education I wanted or have the job I wanted. I felt like I was merely here for Chuck and that is all. I started to feel very empty inside.
My 30th birthday came and Chuck gave me a spark of hope for a family but I wasn't going to let it get my hopes up. I didn't think I could handle another big disappointment. So we agreed that on my 31st birthday we would talk about starting a family if he had been allowed to purchase a Harley that I didn't really want. So that was that. We didn't talk about it after that. Then 3 months later on a Sunday after a friend had talked to us at Church......Chuck changed his mind on starting a family He gave up his ability to buy the Harley by buying a new car that was safer for our family. And we got pregnant right away.
Now 9 months later we are counting down the days until our son Riley Patrick is born. We have grown so much in this 9 months as a couple. Our lives have been changing around us as we make decisions that are based more around us as a family rather than the young hip couple we thought we were. And I have to say it is an incredible feeling. We are waiting for our next set of orders to see where that life will take us.
I now feel that even though I do not have a fairy tale life or marriage, and my Happily Ever After is no Disney tale....I am okay with that. I am married to a good, hard working man who is my best friend and confidant. And you know.....this Happily Ever After that I am starting to see.....isn't so bad. It may not be all about picnics in the forest while we skip and sing with all our little animal friends.....or magic and glitter......but it is starting to look pretty good from this end, and I can't wait to see what it has in store for us.
We both know that we can handle just about anything. Crazy in-laws....Check! Cars or credit cards getting stolen....Check!! Shootings or stabbings on our doorstep......Check!!! Long deployments of separation.....Check!!! Death.......Check!! And surviving each other......double check!!! We are good together and are pretty sure we can handle whatever life tries to throw at us.
Love you all
XoXo-Andrea Carla
It consisted of Being happy, Chuck having a great job, me having our first child no later than when I was 25, and possibly having our second by then. I envisioned a cute little house, a nice car, and lot's of skipping and breaking out in song as we had a picnic in the woods. Little did I know that real life would smack us in the face and bring us back to reality. lol
We got married very young. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. But with so many people against our marriage we were determined to prove everyone wrong. Also I always felt guilty if I thought of not being with Chuck. I mean where would he go? It's not like his family would care. So we always stuck through the hard times and somehow made it. Then 9/11 happened and our world really changed. We had to grow up fast. It was not not a matter of trying to survive our immaturity at 20 years old....it was a matter of staying strong for each other as we faced the reality of war. We unknowingly became very dependent on each others courage to stay strong as he had to leave for deployment trainings, and buildups. His upcoming deployment strained us....but we survived the first one.
Starting a family had been set on the back burner for now. Chuck wanted to have a family, just not yet. He had such an awful example set before him.....that he wasn't eager to start one now. We still tried to stay strong for each other as we prepared for his second deployment, But the strain was really taking a toll. Not to mention we were both still very young and immature and really had no idea how to really make a marriage work yet.
Chuck left for his second deployment still a young boy and it was looking like my happily ever after wasn't so happy any more. This was a tough deployment for us. I was depressed and alone, and gained a lot of weight. But I managed to still write him every day. This was the worst deployment. Combat took it's toll on the unit. Chuck came home a changed man. We weren't sure where our Happily Ever After was, but we needed each other. I stopped taking anti depressants and birth control to see if that would help me. We took new orders and moved to a new base not far away. It was a good and bad move for us. We liked the area better....but we just weren't connecting. Chuck had changed his mind about having a family because of war and his family......and I watched as my 25th birthday came and went. I struggled to know what to do. I had married someone who wanted a family like me. And now that person didn't exist anymore.
We struggled through deployment #3 and found ourselves a little stronger by the end of it.
The fourth deployment came and was very different. Chuck was on a ship this time and wouldn't be in danger as much. We found ourselves growing closer over the deployment and needed each other more. It was a tough deployment for us to be separated. Normally we did fine during deployments as we are both very independent. But this time we needed and missed each others company. We had reached a new plateau in our marriage. We knew that Happily Ever After wasn't what we thought it would be....but we knew that we made a good fit 99.9% of the time. We knew that no one else would put up with out faults, and that we were good for each other. We missed each other a lot and by the time the end of the deployment came we couldn't wait to see each other. It was a wonderful homecoming and we had a great little welcome home honeymoon phase as they call it.
Chuck still was against having children and I ached inside as the reality was starting to set in that I may never get to fulfill my dreams. Chuck was considering making his job a career and so that meant constant moving and deployments. Constantly having to adjust to new surroundings, and of course always being apart. Chuck was really burned out from the last 4 deployments and needed some serious down time. So we accepted new orders for I&I staff further north. We had been told that this was a non-deployable unit.....but that is what we had been told in his first unit as well, and that is where he deployed twice. So we packed up our lives again and moved 6 hours north. We settled down and started our little lives here. I started working full time, and so did Chuck. He worked a lot harder than he normally did in units, but he also got a lot more time off. I was enjoying working and feeling like I was making a difference.
Then things changed and I found myself not able to work. We started attending our local ward and found it to be really amazing. We loved going to church on Sundays. But it didn't matter what I said or did Chuck just wasn't going to change his mind on starting a family. I struggled a lot with it, but tried to put on my brave face. I wasn't even sure I could have children seeing as how I had been off of birth control for 5 years now. We should have had more than one accident by then. But I tried to be the good wife, and not pester him about it. But seeing Chuck with other people's kids just made it worse. He is so good with kids, and they always love him. I just didn't understand. But I tried not to say anything.
I felt as though my life were passing me by. Everything I had hoped for in my marriage wasn't happening. I wasn't getting sealed to my husband for time and all eternity. I wasn't going to get to start a family and be a mommy. I would never get the education I wanted or have the job I wanted. I felt like I was merely here for Chuck and that is all. I started to feel very empty inside.
My 30th birthday came and Chuck gave me a spark of hope for a family but I wasn't going to let it get my hopes up. I didn't think I could handle another big disappointment. So we agreed that on my 31st birthday we would talk about starting a family if he had been allowed to purchase a Harley that I didn't really want. So that was that. We didn't talk about it after that. Then 3 months later on a Sunday after a friend had talked to us at Church......Chuck changed his mind on starting a family He gave up his ability to buy the Harley by buying a new car that was safer for our family. And we got pregnant right away.
Now 9 months later we are counting down the days until our son Riley Patrick is born. We have grown so much in this 9 months as a couple. Our lives have been changing around us as we make decisions that are based more around us as a family rather than the young hip couple we thought we were. And I have to say it is an incredible feeling. We are waiting for our next set of orders to see where that life will take us.
I now feel that even though I do not have a fairy tale life or marriage, and my Happily Ever After is no Disney tale....I am okay with that. I am married to a good, hard working man who is my best friend and confidant. And you know.....this Happily Ever After that I am starting to see.....isn't so bad. It may not be all about picnics in the forest while we skip and sing with all our little animal friends.....or magic and glitter......but it is starting to look pretty good from this end, and I can't wait to see what it has in store for us.
We both know that we can handle just about anything. Crazy in-laws....Check! Cars or credit cards getting stolen....Check!! Shootings or stabbings on our doorstep......Check!!! Long deployments of separation.....Check!!! Death.......Check!! And surviving each other......double check!!! We are good together and are pretty sure we can handle whatever life tries to throw at us.
Love you all
XoXo-Andrea Carla
PTSD
Four little letters.....Four little words.....a world of difference for many
Last night I was able to attend an award banquet given by the Diablo Valley Vietnam Veterans. They were honoring Sgt. Masterson for the year and presenting him with an NCO sword for being NCO of the Year. This was a large group of guys. I figured it would be like the Marine Corps League. But it was very different. These guys seemed a lot closer, and a lot funnier. This was a mix of all branches of the military, and I will say that made for some fun talk. If you are familiar with military life....then you know and understand that it doesn't matter where you are, what rank you are, or what branch you are in......your job is to tease the other guy in the other branch. lol We had dinner at a very posh country club. I was really worried about going since I have 2 dresses that I can wear since I am 9 months pregnant, and they are more summer dresses than a nice dinner dress. But it is all I have and all I could find. I hadn't slept in over 24 hours and was running on Empty.....but I put on my brave face and went because I needed to support my husband at this dinner, and I wanted to support Masterson as he is probably one of the best Marines I have ever met.
I was able to switch out my chair at the table for a more comfortable one. I wouldn't have made it through the night if I had to sit in the chair they had provided. It was a great chair, but the way the baby is sitting...I can't sit up perfectly straight without his bottom and feet jamming into my ribs. It actually is a little painful. So one of the employees at the country club brought a different chair over for me. It turned out to be a kingly type of chair and I felt funny.....but it sure helped out a lot on my back.
So the evening kicked off with lot's of teasing from all the old guys, and they said we could have any drinks we wanted from the bar for free....so Chuck went for a Cherry Coke, and me a Root Beer for the night. Dinner was served buffet style, and it was really good. I was so hungry I gobbled it up. A really nice salad with different greens, and then amazing potatoes, and veggies...with some Chicken that tasted great.
After Dinner the ceremony started with introductions. This is where some of the entertainment began. With each intro some of the guys would hoot and holler Go Marines, or Go Army....even if the guy wasn't a part of that branch. It was fun and silly. The guys all introduced themselves and said a little about when they served, where, and with whom. I noticed that most of the vets only had one tour and got out within a 2 or 3 year mark. Then it came time for all the active guys to do their introductions. And the older guys were amazed that all of the active guys had been in the Corps longer than any of the Vets. Then the man with the microphone asked the active Marines to raise their hands for how many deployments they had been on. And all the vets were just amazed as the guys kept their hands up for 4, 5, even 8 deployments. I felt that the deployment lifestyle the vets lived then, was so much harder to endure through a deployment with hardly any support system from home than what it is now.
Masterson was introduced, and presented with the NCO sword and the guy who presented him with it, also presented him with another honor. Apparently 40 something years ago when this Marine was in the corps......he was voted in as the Corps Sexiest Marine. So he passed on the honor to Masterson last night.....and it was soooo funny. There was a lot of hooting and hollering about it. ha ha ha And I am certain that the guys at the shop will now do something to tease the tar out of Masterson about that. Maybe we should have a cake delivered to the shop that states that he is now voted in as the Sexiest Marine! lol ha ha ha Masterson is not the typical Marine who would just eat up that type of thing and brag it up, or run with it. He is a quiet hard working individual. So this is going to be funny to see how the guys tease him over this.
After the award, the guest speaker was introduced and she is a student at California State Sacramento getting her masters in Social Work. She is doing her thesis on PTSD and the affects that is has taken on families. Now her research is covering each war. So she is asking for participants from the past to the present. From spouses to children who have been affected by this, or experienced it in some way. The topic is a serious one, and it turned the crowd a little while she was speaking. There were a few jokes, but not many, and a few had questions. There was one older gentleman who stood to ask a question. After taking a few minutes to compose himself he asked how do you transition yourself back into normal life with your family after coming back from war, even when it has been 40 or 50 years. My heart went right to him. I just wanted to go up to him and hug him. It was clear that he still struggles with the affects war took on him even though his is in his 70's. I hope his question was answered for him in a way he felt comfortable. But I really see where a lot of these men and wives are coming from. Being a Spouse of a combat veteran, and being surrounded by others as well who have been to war.....you see what War does to our guys. Some come home completely changed, some just a little. But I really do believe that all who go to war come back a little different.
The vets were amazed by all the deployments and how long the active duty guys were in. They were praising them for how much harder that must be....but I kind of feel different. I don't think you can really compare WWII, or Vietnam to anything my husband has experienced. They are like night and day they are so different. I mean when the vets left for war, they rarely knew where they were going, or knew anything about the place. Now our guys have a very thorough brief on the area and lifestyle they are about to enter. The Vets would deploy for a year or so at a time, with little to no contact with home. They might receive letters and were lucky if they could get one mailed out. And when a wife actually got a letter.....it was usually months old by the time she got it. When the guys would return home it was to an empty airport. They found a ride home and surprised their family. Often the family didn't even know if he was still alive or not. Can you imagine someone walking in the door after more than a year whom you thought to be dead?!! That would be so distressing, and exciting. I mean the emotions would be overwhelming. And then you are just supposed to hug and kiss and go back to normal life? ha
Our guys now have a good mail system that usually gets a letter to you in about a week or so. They have phones to call home once a week or when time allows. They have the Internet to send e-mails, cards, and share pictures. Also Skype is available so you can see your spouse and talk with them live. And....on some tours a wife is able to meet her spouse at a port for a few days while the ship is docked. When my husband is to come home....I get notice of it. I am given a rough estimate of the month, then the week, and then within a day or two. Then I get a phone call when he is out of the war zone, and back in country. I am able to prepare myself for the homecoming. I am able to prepare the home to welcome him back. I can't imagine being surprised like wives used to be after months or a year or more of no contact on a deployment.
Also when our vets used to come home...they weren't greeted as heroes like they are now. it was often a silent and depressing flight home. Some had no families to return to. And what we now know as PTSD was referred to as Shell Shock and no one really knew how to treat it. So often the men tried to erase the memories and such by drinking it away. No one knew what else to do. I really think that these guys had it a lot rougher than our guys now do. Granted it is a different war and now they have much higher sophistication, and you have to watch out for so many more things.....but they really are different wars.
I just wanted to share all of this with you. And if you would like to help this woman out on her thesis.....she would greatly appreciate it. Here is her contact info she gave out. It is mostly a survey and will be anonymous.
Jeri Wilson, MSW II
jlw262@saclink.csus.edu
or
psychjeri@sbcglobal.net
Love you all
XoXo-Andrea Carla
Last night I was able to attend an award banquet given by the Diablo Valley Vietnam Veterans. They were honoring Sgt. Masterson for the year and presenting him with an NCO sword for being NCO of the Year. This was a large group of guys. I figured it would be like the Marine Corps League. But it was very different. These guys seemed a lot closer, and a lot funnier. This was a mix of all branches of the military, and I will say that made for some fun talk. If you are familiar with military life....then you know and understand that it doesn't matter where you are, what rank you are, or what branch you are in......your job is to tease the other guy in the other branch. lol We had dinner at a very posh country club. I was really worried about going since I have 2 dresses that I can wear since I am 9 months pregnant, and they are more summer dresses than a nice dinner dress. But it is all I have and all I could find. I hadn't slept in over 24 hours and was running on Empty.....but I put on my brave face and went because I needed to support my husband at this dinner, and I wanted to support Masterson as he is probably one of the best Marines I have ever met.
I was able to switch out my chair at the table for a more comfortable one. I wouldn't have made it through the night if I had to sit in the chair they had provided. It was a great chair, but the way the baby is sitting...I can't sit up perfectly straight without his bottom and feet jamming into my ribs. It actually is a little painful. So one of the employees at the country club brought a different chair over for me. It turned out to be a kingly type of chair and I felt funny.....but it sure helped out a lot on my back.
So the evening kicked off with lot's of teasing from all the old guys, and they said we could have any drinks we wanted from the bar for free....so Chuck went for a Cherry Coke, and me a Root Beer for the night. Dinner was served buffet style, and it was really good. I was so hungry I gobbled it up. A really nice salad with different greens, and then amazing potatoes, and veggies...with some Chicken that tasted great.
After Dinner the ceremony started with introductions. This is where some of the entertainment began. With each intro some of the guys would hoot and holler Go Marines, or Go Army....even if the guy wasn't a part of that branch. It was fun and silly. The guys all introduced themselves and said a little about when they served, where, and with whom. I noticed that most of the vets only had one tour and got out within a 2 or 3 year mark. Then it came time for all the active guys to do their introductions. And the older guys were amazed that all of the active guys had been in the Corps longer than any of the Vets. Then the man with the microphone asked the active Marines to raise their hands for how many deployments they had been on. And all the vets were just amazed as the guys kept their hands up for 4, 5, even 8 deployments. I felt that the deployment lifestyle the vets lived then, was so much harder to endure through a deployment with hardly any support system from home than what it is now.
Masterson was introduced, and presented with the NCO sword and the guy who presented him with it, also presented him with another honor. Apparently 40 something years ago when this Marine was in the corps......he was voted in as the Corps Sexiest Marine. So he passed on the honor to Masterson last night.....and it was soooo funny. There was a lot of hooting and hollering about it. ha ha ha And I am certain that the guys at the shop will now do something to tease the tar out of Masterson about that. Maybe we should have a cake delivered to the shop that states that he is now voted in as the Sexiest Marine! lol ha ha ha Masterson is not the typical Marine who would just eat up that type of thing and brag it up, or run with it. He is a quiet hard working individual. So this is going to be funny to see how the guys tease him over this.
After the award, the guest speaker was introduced and she is a student at California State Sacramento getting her masters in Social Work. She is doing her thesis on PTSD and the affects that is has taken on families. Now her research is covering each war. So she is asking for participants from the past to the present. From spouses to children who have been affected by this, or experienced it in some way. The topic is a serious one, and it turned the crowd a little while she was speaking. There were a few jokes, but not many, and a few had questions. There was one older gentleman who stood to ask a question. After taking a few minutes to compose himself he asked how do you transition yourself back into normal life with your family after coming back from war, even when it has been 40 or 50 years. My heart went right to him. I just wanted to go up to him and hug him. It was clear that he still struggles with the affects war took on him even though his is in his 70's. I hope his question was answered for him in a way he felt comfortable. But I really see where a lot of these men and wives are coming from. Being a Spouse of a combat veteran, and being surrounded by others as well who have been to war.....you see what War does to our guys. Some come home completely changed, some just a little. But I really do believe that all who go to war come back a little different.
The vets were amazed by all the deployments and how long the active duty guys were in. They were praising them for how much harder that must be....but I kind of feel different. I don't think you can really compare WWII, or Vietnam to anything my husband has experienced. They are like night and day they are so different. I mean when the vets left for war, they rarely knew where they were going, or knew anything about the place. Now our guys have a very thorough brief on the area and lifestyle they are about to enter. The Vets would deploy for a year or so at a time, with little to no contact with home. They might receive letters and were lucky if they could get one mailed out. And when a wife actually got a letter.....it was usually months old by the time she got it. When the guys would return home it was to an empty airport. They found a ride home and surprised their family. Often the family didn't even know if he was still alive or not. Can you imagine someone walking in the door after more than a year whom you thought to be dead?!! That would be so distressing, and exciting. I mean the emotions would be overwhelming. And then you are just supposed to hug and kiss and go back to normal life? ha
Our guys now have a good mail system that usually gets a letter to you in about a week or so. They have phones to call home once a week or when time allows. They have the Internet to send e-mails, cards, and share pictures. Also Skype is available so you can see your spouse and talk with them live. And....on some tours a wife is able to meet her spouse at a port for a few days while the ship is docked. When my husband is to come home....I get notice of it. I am given a rough estimate of the month, then the week, and then within a day or two. Then I get a phone call when he is out of the war zone, and back in country. I am able to prepare myself for the homecoming. I am able to prepare the home to welcome him back. I can't imagine being surprised like wives used to be after months or a year or more of no contact on a deployment.
Also when our vets used to come home...they weren't greeted as heroes like they are now. it was often a silent and depressing flight home. Some had no families to return to. And what we now know as PTSD was referred to as Shell Shock and no one really knew how to treat it. So often the men tried to erase the memories and such by drinking it away. No one knew what else to do. I really think that these guys had it a lot rougher than our guys now do. Granted it is a different war and now they have much higher sophistication, and you have to watch out for so many more things.....but they really are different wars.
I just wanted to share all of this with you. And if you would like to help this woman out on her thesis.....she would greatly appreciate it. Here is her contact info she gave out. It is mostly a survey and will be anonymous.
Jeri Wilson, MSW II
jlw262@saclink.csus.edu
or
psychjeri@sbcglobal.net
Love you all
XoXo-Andrea Carla
January 5, 2011
I think I can......I think I can.....
I keep telling myself that I think I can make it a little longer. Riley has grown so much that I am feeling like he may burst out at any moment. So in other words.....quarters are getting real tight around here. lol
I had another Dr.'s appointment on Monday the 3rd. I was fine when we went in, but after being there for almost 2 hours and getting poked and prodded so much....Riley and I weren't doing as great. Also when the Dr. was doing the exam.....He stated that it would take magic to get Riley out. Ummmm what is that supposed to mean? So on kicked the worry-o-meter!!! He said I was still closed pretty tight so Riley wouldn't be making a debut soon. We also had a stress test to see how things were going and that is when Riley really got poked a lot. The stress test took forever because he didn't like it and wouldn't hold still long enough to get the 17 markers on the test. So the nurse and the Dr. and the intern would come in and poke at him.....and well that led to a bad rest of the day.
By the time I got home.....I was really hurting. Like cramps hurting. I just had a low dulling pain in my tum tum. As the day progressed it kept getting worse. Soon it hurt a lot to even walk. Standing hurt and then lifting a leg to take a step really hurt. So every time I would visit the little girls room.....I wound up shuffling to the bathroom. aughhhh I was starting to worry that something just wasn't really right. But I didn't want to bother my Dr. again. And especially after the whole Tahoe ordeal where I was just told to go to the ER. and all it turned out to be was a problem breathing due to elevation, and ligament strain. I didn't want to go to the ER and just be laughed at for being the typical 1st time pregnant mommy who worries over nothing. So I did what any girl would do.......I called my sister!
I texted her actually since it was about 10 p.m. her time and i didn't want to wake her, or her kids if they were all tucked in bed. So I texted her to call me if she was still up. She called right away and said I didn't wake her. (phew!!) We chatted for a while and she made me feel a whole heck of a lot better as to what was going on. And she reassured me that a lot of the things I am feeling is normal pregnancy pains. I felt so relieved after we talked. So Chuck rolled over and went to sleep seeing how I felt better about the situation.....and I rolled over to play some solitaire since I wasn't really feeling that sleepy yet. A little while later Riley decided to have a major jam session in my tummy. Really he was rocking out or something.....I felt Lot's of kicks and moving around. Jumping around I am sure of it......a little macarena dance or the Electric slide as well. ha ha ha
As soon as he was done doing that I had a sudden urge to visit the little girls room. After I was still aching a little so I opted to put my chair in the shower and soak up some of that therapeutic hot water. I probably was in there for half an hour....but when I came out of the shower I felt soooooo much better.
Turns out my little Riley bug was somehow laying or putting pressure on my intestine.....and it was causing pain! lol I am so so glad I didn't go to the hospital for them to tell me I was full of crap and to go home!
I have been having contractions about once a day...sometimes twice....but that is all for now....(knock on wood!) And even though I am aching to roll up my sleeves to clean.....I am so so tired I just don't have the energy for it or motivation! What am I supposed to do? I wish so badly I had help to clean. And it's not like there is a lot to do....It is mostly organizing and tidying up the house, and cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms. Aughhh the stress!!!!
Not much else is going on here. It is just a hurry up and wait game for us. I am so eager to meet my little Riley bug. I have waited so long for this.....and truly believed that I would never have children, and this day would never happen. It is so amazing to know that it is going to happen for me.
Well that is all for now..
XoXo-Andrea Carla
I had another Dr.'s appointment on Monday the 3rd. I was fine when we went in, but after being there for almost 2 hours and getting poked and prodded so much....Riley and I weren't doing as great. Also when the Dr. was doing the exam.....He stated that it would take magic to get Riley out. Ummmm what is that supposed to mean? So on kicked the worry-o-meter!!! He said I was still closed pretty tight so Riley wouldn't be making a debut soon. We also had a stress test to see how things were going and that is when Riley really got poked a lot. The stress test took forever because he didn't like it and wouldn't hold still long enough to get the 17 markers on the test. So the nurse and the Dr. and the intern would come in and poke at him.....and well that led to a bad rest of the day.
By the time I got home.....I was really hurting. Like cramps hurting. I just had a low dulling pain in my tum tum. As the day progressed it kept getting worse. Soon it hurt a lot to even walk. Standing hurt and then lifting a leg to take a step really hurt. So every time I would visit the little girls room.....I wound up shuffling to the bathroom. aughhhh I was starting to worry that something just wasn't really right. But I didn't want to bother my Dr. again. And especially after the whole Tahoe ordeal where I was just told to go to the ER. and all it turned out to be was a problem breathing due to elevation, and ligament strain. I didn't want to go to the ER and just be laughed at for being the typical 1st time pregnant mommy who worries over nothing. So I did what any girl would do.......I called my sister!
I texted her actually since it was about 10 p.m. her time and i didn't want to wake her, or her kids if they were all tucked in bed. So I texted her to call me if she was still up. She called right away and said I didn't wake her. (phew!!) We chatted for a while and she made me feel a whole heck of a lot better as to what was going on. And she reassured me that a lot of the things I am feeling is normal pregnancy pains. I felt so relieved after we talked. So Chuck rolled over and went to sleep seeing how I felt better about the situation.....and I rolled over to play some solitaire since I wasn't really feeling that sleepy yet. A little while later Riley decided to have a major jam session in my tummy. Really he was rocking out or something.....I felt Lot's of kicks and moving around. Jumping around I am sure of it......a little macarena dance or the Electric slide as well. ha ha ha
As soon as he was done doing that I had a sudden urge to visit the little girls room. After I was still aching a little so I opted to put my chair in the shower and soak up some of that therapeutic hot water. I probably was in there for half an hour....but when I came out of the shower I felt soooooo much better.
Turns out my little Riley bug was somehow laying or putting pressure on my intestine.....and it was causing pain! lol I am so so glad I didn't go to the hospital for them to tell me I was full of crap and to go home!
I have been having contractions about once a day...sometimes twice....but that is all for now....(knock on wood!) And even though I am aching to roll up my sleeves to clean.....I am so so tired I just don't have the energy for it or motivation! What am I supposed to do? I wish so badly I had help to clean. And it's not like there is a lot to do....It is mostly organizing and tidying up the house, and cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms. Aughhh the stress!!!!
Not much else is going on here. It is just a hurry up and wait game for us. I am so eager to meet my little Riley bug. I have waited so long for this.....and truly believed that I would never have children, and this day would never happen. It is so amazing to know that it is going to happen for me.
Well that is all for now..
XoXo-Andrea Carla
January 1, 2011
I found it!!
So for well over a week I have been searching and searching for my camera's charger. I couldn't find it anywhere!!! I was really worried about what to do since who knows when Riley will make his debut, and then how would I document my little man's first few days?!! So I have searched high and low. I normally could find it on our side table. I always keep it there. Since I bought the camera years ago.....I have never had a problem losing the charger. But alas it was gone. I was afraid that maybe I had taken it to Tahoe when we went for the ball and accidentally left it in the room. But the thing is.......I had charged the camera beforehand....and didn't remember ever taking it, or even needing to charge the camera again. But the charger was very much MIA!!!
I wasn't seeing what to do besides buying a new one. But I didn't want to spend $50 on a new charger just to find the old one a few days later......more than likely. Well today I was pretty determined to find the thing. I cleaned and walked around in Riley's room. I dug around in our room. I looked in the hall closet, the kitchen, and for the umpteenth billion time I dug around in the living room. I was about to look again in the cabinet where I keep the cameras and such....when I opened my Nikon bag. And what do you know.......My charger had been stuck on top. I have no memory of doing this, but hey who knows with my pregnancy memory anything is possible. lol
So now I am happy to say that I am able to charge up the ole camera and get it ready for D-Day!
Also today I was able to get my software working again for my flip camera. It has been working off and on now for a few months. But I think it is okay now. lol
And I was finally able to get my e-reader software working again. I haven't been able to update it, or get it to work at all since may or June! So I am pretty happy with how things have went today. ha ha ha
Nothing else is going on. Riley has really been taking a toll on me. I am hardly able to sleep at all, and my arms, neck, and legs have been hurting so much lately that even just trying to lay still is a little painful. Today I tried to push through it and get some things done. I got 2 loads of laundry done, and worked on Riley's room. I was hoping Chuck and I would accomplish more.....but alas nothing else happened. Hopefully something can get cleaned tomorrow.
Well that is all for now. I hope everyone had a great New Years Eve and Day.....and got home safely.
XoXo-Andrea Carla
I wasn't seeing what to do besides buying a new one. But I didn't want to spend $50 on a new charger just to find the old one a few days later......more than likely. Well today I was pretty determined to find the thing. I cleaned and walked around in Riley's room. I dug around in our room. I looked in the hall closet, the kitchen, and for the umpteenth billion time I dug around in the living room. I was about to look again in the cabinet where I keep the cameras and such....when I opened my Nikon bag. And what do you know.......My charger had been stuck on top. I have no memory of doing this, but hey who knows with my pregnancy memory anything is possible. lol
So now I am happy to say that I am able to charge up the ole camera and get it ready for D-Day!
Also today I was able to get my software working again for my flip camera. It has been working off and on now for a few months. But I think it is okay now. lol
And I was finally able to get my e-reader software working again. I haven't been able to update it, or get it to work at all since may or June! So I am pretty happy with how things have went today. ha ha ha
Nothing else is going on. Riley has really been taking a toll on me. I am hardly able to sleep at all, and my arms, neck, and legs have been hurting so much lately that even just trying to lay still is a little painful. Today I tried to push through it and get some things done. I got 2 loads of laundry done, and worked on Riley's room. I was hoping Chuck and I would accomplish more.....but alas nothing else happened. Hopefully something can get cleaned tomorrow.
Well that is all for now. I hope everyone had a great New Years Eve and Day.....and got home safely.
XoXo-Andrea Carla
New Year
Wow it came so fast. This new year really has snuck up on me and I was not anticipating it's arrival so soon. Although I must say I am very excited for all the new adventures that lay ahead for me and my family.
I want to tell everyone to open this year with open arms. Look at the possibilities that lay ahead of you and roll with the punches thrown your way. Accept responsibility for your faults, and own your flaws. Stop pushing people away....it won't stop things from happening to you. But you can keep them at a safe distance. Try something new, and throw away a bad habit. If you smoke stop.....it does nothing for you. It does not give you a happy feeling like a drink might, and it makes you look leathery as you age. Do it for your parent's, your siblings, your spouse, and your kids. Don't be selfish and make them watch as you die of lung cancer. If you love them.....stop now so you can be a part of their lives longer.
And most importantly..........
To my fellow freaks and Geeks..............LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY!!!!!
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