April 15, 2011

The End is near

I have so much to catch you all up on, and so little time. Last weekend was drill weekend for Chuck. They took the reservists to Camp Roberts so that they could all qual on the gun range. My Aunt and Uncle live in the area and so hosted the active duty staff for the evening on one of the nights and fed them BBQ. I wished so bad that I could have been there as I haven't been in a year and they haven't met Riley yet....but alas we couldn't make it.

Riley and I did good while Chuck was gone those few days, although Mamma Bear was pretty tired. Normally when I get to that point where I am super duper tired....I can hand off Riley to Chuck or I can vent to him that way I can get a break, or just vent to feel a little better. But when Chuck is gone I cannot do that. So I felt a little worn down by the time drill was over. Now this was only a few days so it has me really worried because Chuck is leaving soon for a few months for Staff Academy. He will be to far for me to be able to make a quick trip down to see him and get a little break. So I am extremely worried about him leaving. I know I can handle going at this alone for a few months.....it's just I am worried about feeling burned out. When I get burned out I am miss cranky pants.....and Riley doesn't deserve that. So I need to find a way to get the sleep I need, still take care of myself like sleep, shower, and not to forget to eat now and then. lol I am just worried about Chuck leaving. I really do depend on being able to ask him for help when I need it, or to be able to just vent when things are a little overwhelming. But alas I need to toughen up and just deal with the fact that he isn't going to be around to do that for a while. blast!!

Tuesday I had a pretty stressful day. It is kind of my fault as I packed to many things into one day. First Riley and I rushed to the Dr.'s for a 10 a.m. appointment with the new lactation consultant. I was worried I wouldn't like her, but when I first saw her she had a very warm and friendly look about her. But then as she passed me she rubbed and patted my back. Yah I have issues with people getting to close to me and touching me. It instantly made me uncomfortable. Yah I know I have issues. I just see it as my space, and I didn't invite you in. lol Well we went in and they put us in the room where they did the snippity snip on poor little Riley's junk! Now I am sure he couldn't recognize the room, but what about smell recognition? The room was not comfortable. And for the nursing chair....they put us in an office chair. You know the rolling kind you put at your desk. Yah it was not comfy. Well to make a long story a tad shorter......our hour long appointment was awful. She managed to piss off my son so bad that he wouldn't even take a bottle. We struggled just to get him to try and nurse with a shield on. Ughhhhh And an hour and 4 1/2 ounces in milk later.....Riley had only actually taken in an ounce. The rest was drooled out. So frustrating. I was trying to calm him down, but the woman kept interrupting and just making the problem worse.

After our appointment we rushed over to our mommy and me class. It was all right. I learned a few things, but both Riley and I were still worked up over our crappy lactation appointment. We tried to nurse with the shield on during the class, but really didn't have any success. After class our normal visiting time just wasn't as good as normal, and the ladies were going around asking each other to lunch at lettuce. But no one asked me. I am not sure if I should have waited for a personal invite or not, and I had a fussy baby. But still it kinda hurt that no one invited me. Oh well.....such is life.

After the class and the ladies left, Riley got fussy. So we headed back tot he parking garage. As we got to the car I found out some idiot in a silver sports car had taken it upon himself to cram his little car into my parking space since it was a tad larger than the usual ones. WHAT?!! So I had no way of getting Riley into the car. Why did this guy not get a ticket? So I had to crawl through the back of the Yukon with Riley and turn the carrier sideways so we could fit over the seat and I could snap him in. Ughhhh so annoying. I could barely squeeze my chunky butt into the car. Riley was pretty peeved after that and screamed the whole way home. I couldn't soothe him. He was beyond the angry faze. ughhhhh I called a few people for comfort, but alas it didn't work. I brought Riley home and got him in his swing. He was still to peeved to calm down and enjoy it. I needed to pump really bad, but couldn't get my little man to stop screaming so I could. Finally he nibbled a little bit of food from me, and then crashed out from all the crying so I could pump. I have to admit that his crying really stressed me out and I was still stressed from that mornings crappy lactation appointment. Riley and I finished up a few things at home, and then Chuck got off of work and came home. We got in the car and headed to Menlo park where we went to a book signing with Cassandra Clare, and Holly Black. It was really fun. Riley was fussy, and spitting up a lot, but I had really been looking forward to getting my Mortal Instruments books signed by Cassandra Clare. I didn't even think that Holly Black is one of the co-authors of the Spiderwick books. So I forgot to bring them. BLAST!! We were the last ones in line, but both authors loved Riley's pom pom hat. lol We got home super late and Riley fussed most of the time. It was about 11 p.m. when we got in the door, and fed Riley, swaddled him, and got him to bed. The next time I woke up.....Was 6 hours later!!! My amazing little man slept for 6 whole hours!!! It was pretty awesome!

Wednesday Riley and I hung out at home and were vegetables. We needed some down time. We were both pretty tired from the day before. Thursday we went to Travis AFB to return our hospital grade pump. ;0( I am sad it is gone. They were doing a mock emergency drill on base. The scenario was a dirty bomb had gone off on base. The whole entire base was participating. Not only did you have to show your ID when you got on base......but you also had to do so each time you entered a building. It was a little annoying. We picked up a few things on base, and I found the most awesome diaper bag EVER!!! Now it is not in digi cammy like I wold prefer, but it is still cool. It is a range bag. But I am going to use it as a diaper bag. lol

Today Friday Chuck has off. We have a few days together before he leaves. I am hoping we can get a few things done, and spend a little time together as a family.

One amazing thing that happened this week......Riley and I were just settling down for a nap and someone rang the doorbell. I was a little annoyed as this woke Riley up...and did the person not see the pillow hanging from the doorbell that stated SHHHHH Baby sleeping? ughhhh so I got up and answered the door. When I opened it the mail lady was walking away from the house and I looked down and a box was by our door. I picked it up and what do you know....it was a pump!!! Now it isn't a hospital grade....but today I am going to try it and see if it will do the job for us. I wondered who sent it and found the return addy was from Amazing J!!! I have blogged about her before....Here.....She truly is amazing!!! J I hope you know how awesome you are and I love you! You are such a great person with such a kind heart! Thank you for helping us out!

Well I had better be going now. I need to get a few things done, and Chuck wants to take a walk this morning. I will keep you all updated.

XoXo-Andrea Carla

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