November 19, 2010

fragments of events

I keep forgetting to tell you things that have happened, so I thought I would try to jam them all into one post. I hope you don't mind. Let's see......

Last Monday Nov 8th Chuck was on his way home from work. It was dark outside, and he was tired. He was almost home when he stopped at a stop light. A car with two women pulled up next to him and asked him to roll down his window. He did so to see what they wanted. They asked him if he was in the military, and he said yes. One of the women called him a baby killer and they threw a cup of soda at him/car and drove off. He rolled up his window and came home. He was more upset that someone had thrown something at his car. And it is not the first time someone has called him a baby killer. He has a lot more grace than I do. I would have sped after those girls and called the police. But he just chooses to ignore them.

It always amazes me of how people justify their actions. So if these women hate military.......I always want to ask then do you think since you are African American you should be my slave? That always gets a shocking reaction.....and they of course get very defensive and say no....Well it was the military and a war that won them freedom wasn't it? And what about Hitler....Do you believe what he did was right? Do you believe his killing innocent people, using them as lab rats, and hunting Jews like they were animals was right? And you always get the same answer.....of course not. Well the military and a war saved some of those people!! And then the big kicker.....Do you celebrate the 4th of July? And you usually get the same answer....of course I do.....Well please someone explain to this person what the 4th is all about!!! lol

I understand hating war, but sometimes it has to happen. Sometimes it is the only answer.....because some people have passed the point of listening and negotiating. But sometimes war does amazing things for people. When people react the way they did to my husband the only logical thing I can come up with is they are ignorant. Each one of us usually follows someones rules. If you have a follow their rules, and do what they tell you to do. It is kind of the same for the military.....They follow their Commander in Chief, and those appointed over them. They do what they are told. So tell me this.......I am sure many of you have seen the movie Erin Brockovich. The company PG&E was dumping hazardous chemicals into the ground instead of disposing of them properly. It in turn harmed several families. Now did the lawsuit go after the person dumping? Or the company that told them to do so? The lawsuit went after PG&E!!! I feel it should be the same for the military you know.....If you don't like something that the military is being asked to do....don't hate the little guy who is just doing what he has been asked to do by his country.....get mad at the bigger guy who actually has the power to make changes....this would be your government...state senates....your president. Being angry at the little guy makes you look like an idiot.....he does not have the power or ability to make changes or share the opinions of the public. But congress does. Does this make sense to anyone? lol Oh well enough of this rant.

I forgot to mention that at the Marine Corps Ball this year.....the active duty staff presented flowers to all the spouses and girlfriends during the ceremony. It was a really special thing to happen. All the guys pitched in a little and had flowers purchased for the girls. And then the 1st. Sgt after having introduced his mom and sis who had come to the ball for the 1st time...had them presented with flowers, and then each wife was named and given a large bouquet of flowers. I felt so special being recognized for the things that wives often have to put up with or tolerate. It was so sweet, and so special to be recognized.....and it is little things like that...that make the sacrifices we make...worth while.

Some of my friends who aren't in the military have asked me what do you sacrifice that us wives don't. Well maybe some things aren't so big of a difference, but they add up. So let me point out a few things.

1- Our husbands have to answer their phones no matter what. And the higher rank you get the more responsibility you have to your Marines. We take care of each other. That means if someone needs food, shelter, help with their car, legal help, advice, whatever it is.....we take care of that Marine and his or her family no matter what. Now how many of you would do that for another colleague that wasn't a friend? So even though we take care of our Marine Corps makes it hard to have moments alone sometimes....we almost never make it through a movie in the theater without the phone ringing, ha ha ha And of course those fun 2a.m. phone calls.

2-Work never ends....ever! Even when my husband is on leave....if we haven't left the state....he still comes in almost daily to make sure things are running smoothly, and to check in. Now granted this is a personal choice. But would you care enough about your job to check in when you are on vacation? To make sure those whom you are in charge of are taken care of? Or do you figure they can handle it while you are out? We had to move our wedding date, because the Marine Corps needed my husband at that time. We did not have a honeymoon because the Marine Corps needed him back ASAP. We have had to cancel dates because he gets called back in to help with something unexpected. Work is a 24/7 lifestyle for most military families. We eat, breath, and live the corps....and some how find moments for each other in between.

3-Deployments. Unfortunately a lot of you need explaining to this. I have heard civilian wives respond to military wives when they are saying their man is deployed and they miss him with " My husband went away for a two week golf trip and I didn't think I would make it without him!" My jaw drops when I hear these kind of stories where people try to associate a vacation or a week long business a 9 month deployment. lol When our husbands leave. We kiss them goodbye and try to hold it together and not break down until after he is gone. We kiss them goodbye and watch them leave not knowing if that is the last time we will ever see them, kiss them, or even talk to them. The next time we see them might be in a hospital where they have brain damage....or in a casket. We adjust our lives to playing both roles as mother and father. Sometimes we don't hear for them for weeks at a time, or even months depending on where they are. During these deployments we take care of the home, bills, cars, everything! And that can be a pain when something like a car or utility bill is not in your name. Companies can really be difficult sometimes and won't help you. So you have to find your Power of Attorney and send that, and sometimes they can still be difficult. I once had a credit card company tell me I was a liar and that my husband wasn't in the military after I had sent them my P.O.A., and a letter from his command!!! All I needed to do was change the payment date.

So these are just a few little things that you can see can make military life challenging sometimes. I am not complaining about this.....I am just wanting to convey to you that sometimes we really do sacrifice a whole heck of a lot. It is a challenging lifestyle.

Well that is all for now folks. Thanks for listening to me ramble on. ;0)
XoXo-Andrea Carla


  1. I cannot believe that happened to your husband! Thats ridiculous! Hope all is well.. can't wait to see pictures of the new baby :)

  2. Awesome story about the Ball! Sorry about the soda! Where exactly are they getting the idea that OUR SOLDIERS are baby killers!?!?!? Ridiculous. . . Love ya!