November 6, 2010

worries & whining

These last few days I have been feeling down. I am not certain on any one thing that is making me feel this way, but I am wondering if it is many things just piling up and I am feeling overwhelmed and down.

I have been really wanting to get out of the house lately. This entire pregnancy I was fine with staying home because most of the time I felt really sick, and what better place to be sick than the safety and comfort of your own home. But lately I just want to break free of this place. I am wondering if it is because I know I have so many things I need to accomplish, and it feels like I can never get it all done. So if I am not home....I don't have to clean and organize. lol Also I have been itching to shop. I want to buy stuff for Riley and for the Nursery. But alas that stinking thing called money seems to prevent me from doing so. lol

Chuck made a new friend a while ago and spends a lot of time with him. He really enjoys his time he gets to spend with him, and I understand that. I guess I am feeling jealous that I am not ever that person who he loves to spend so much time with. I know I am feeling sorry for myself....but sometimes I just need to whine about it I guess. Or rather vent about it. I guess it would be nice to feel really needed sometimes ya know? Oh well I guess I am just being weird.

This weekend Chuck is at Travis AFB taking his motorcycle course that the military requires. Luckily they also pay for the class for him. Unfortunately they require the class for me, but do not pay for me. Boooo So While Chuck is doing this with his friend...I get to sit here at home and be bored out of my mind. I really want to do some crafty projects. I miss sewing and painting and scrap booking. I want to get it all out, but then I feel guilty if I do because I should be cleaning and not making another mess. lol I am hopeless.

Riley has really been kicking up a story in my tummy lately. Chuck has felt him a few times now, and laughs at how hard he kicks. lol And the thing I find amusing, is that his kicks will only get stronger as he gets more and more cramped in there and needs to stretch. lol I am starting to feel more and more eager to meet this little guy. I have been waiting for so long to be a mom that I can hardly wait now. My friends warn me to enjoy this quiet time now, but I have had 10 years of quiet....I am ready for our next little challenge.

Yesterday I had my last fitting for my ball gown for the Marine Corps Ball. It has really turned out amazing. I can't believe the changes this gown has gone through. The jacket they created for it is really nice, and I can move around in it which is nice!! ;0) The only thing I don't like about it, is the fact that when I turn sideways I look so huge and wide!! lol But alas I guess I don't really have a choice with that....and I guess it is not the gowns fault, but rather my huge belly. lol I found a pretty necklace and earrings set yesterday that is red so that I will have a little trace of red to match Chuck's dress blues. All we need now is to find a broach that will match, but that is proving a little harder than I thought it would. Chuck and I went to the mall yesterday to try and find something. We walked the entire mall looking...and found a necklace with red in it only when we were on our way out and only found one store that sold a broach. We tried Claires, Icing, and a few other shops, and they had very little to choose from. But we did find one little shop that had colored jewelry. I am wondering if Macys, penny's or Sears might have something in the line of a broach. I have this odd spot on my dress, right at the center of the empire waist...and it needs something. So we were thinking a broach. Who knows though.

We walked around the mall for maybe 2 hours yesterday and I thought I was going to die. I got so hot and tired in there I had to sit down and rest for a while. My back was aching, and Riley has found a great place to sit when I am walking, and it makes my right leg go completely numb to the point where it starts stinging. So I have to sit and rest a lot. I was dying of heat, and Chuck was laughing saying it wasn't so bad....and that he thought it felt great. I pulled out the hand fan I had in my purse and started fanning myself. I felt silly, but it felt so great! My back has really been hurting. First it's my lower back, then I get a pain in my shoulder blades...then a sharp pain in the middle of my back. What the heck?!! It is frustrating....because it really limits what I am able to do. But alas I guess it is normal pregnancy symptoms. lol
After the mall Chuck took me home and dropped me off so he could head up to Travis for his evening bike class. I got to talk to my sis for a little bit, and then opted to head to Michaels to get a little bit of Tole paint for my snowman I want to paint. lol I spent an hour in there, and almost an hour to much. lol I left with some picture frames so I can hang the awesome pics of my sis's kids that I have been collecting and haven't had a frame to hang them in. I came home with a bunch of awesome stamps that were only $1 I loaded up. I found a bunch of Thank You cards so I can finally send out the Thank You's I need to from the baby shower from back home. And I found some tole paint. lol I am hopeless. lol Almost everything I bought was $1 or less....the picture frames were 10X13 and I got them for $4.99!!! That was pretty much the most expensive thing. lol But I still shouldn't have got so much.

Chuck and I decided that since we have no family here, that there is no point in doing thanksgiving for just the two of us. Neither of us want to make a mess in the kitchen for only two people. So we opted to just stay home for the weekend and veg out and play some games and just spend some time together. We really need some time alone to just hang out and play games. ;0)

Well after Michaels yesterday I was so dang tired I came home plopped into bed and laid an ice pack over my head to try and make the headache go away. At 10 p.m. Chuck finally came home. I was pretty irritated that it was so late....and the fact that my whole body hurt from over doing it earlier that day didn't help my mood either. I was starving but hurt to much to make I popped the top on a can of Chicken noodle soup stuck a spoon in it and ate it cold straight from the can with a side of string cheese. lol I finally was able to fall asleep around midnight only to wake up every few hours again. I can feel my body getting exhausted. I am wondering if it is trying to prepare me for when baby comes.

Not much else is going on. I will talk to you all later. Love and miss you tons!
XoXo-Andrea Carla

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