Wednesday the 19th started off like any other. I had my Dr.'s appointment the day before and of course I wasn't getting anywhere near delivering my little man. I had a small burst of energy and decided to take advantage of it. I only had one more day until I went to the Dr. again and then would be induced so I knew that I had a lot to get done. I had two loads of laundry going, I had picked up the living room a little, and I had chatted with my sis and brother in law about them coming out for a visit. I was a busy bee. I still had several things to get done and knew it had to be done that day. The carpets needed to be cleaned, and the bathrooms cleaned.
I took a break from cleaning and was eating Lasagna and drinking an Orange Cream Soda. The windows were open and I was watching Harry Potter #1. After lunch I rubbed my tummy because Riley normally kicks me when I eat. I suddenly realized I hadn't talked to him yet today. I started talking to him but he was sound asleep still. I was a little worried seeing as how it was around 3pm and I hadn't felt him move yet. I went into the nursery and rocked in the rocking chair and sang to him which normally gets him moving. I didn't feel anything. I pushed on his bum to try and feel him twitch or move, and didn't feel anything. I went into the bedroom and laid down so that he would be forced to adjust and get comfy. Still I felt nothing. I was really getting worried by then, but didn't want to call the Dr. or go to the hospital for them to tell me nothing was wrong.
I called my Dr. anyways and Chuck rushed home from work to take me. A car ride always makes Riley move around and kick me a lot. The entire car ride I felt nothing. I was extremely worried at this point. I went in for my stress test, and Riley's normal heart rate has been between 180-190 it was now fluctuating between 170 and dropping to 130. The Dr. didn't like it so they sent me to Labor and Delivery to have a 2 hour prolonged stress test. We got settled into a delivery suite, and our home teacher came to give me a blessing. The nurse decided they were going to keep me overnight to observe baby. Then my Dr. came in and said he didn't like how baby was looking and said clearly baby was not happy. He said he wanted to deliver him. I said okay what is easiest for you. He responded with a Cesarean. I said fine. I have wanted to have a Cesarean because I know how to bounce back from an abdominal surgery as I have had 2 already. But I didn't want to miss out on delivering my baby the natural way and seeing him come out. I asked my Dr. when he wanted to do the Cesarean and he said now!! OH MY HECK!!! Chuck was out as he had run home to walk the dogs so he could stay as long as possible with me. I asked for a few more minutes so Chuck would be there. He barely made it back in time. The nurses came in and prepped me. I walked across the hall to the operating room and they gave me an epidural. I got super sick from it and had a hard time calming down. After everything was A-okay Chuck was brought in. He held my hand, and talked to me the whole time. I thought it was going to hurt like heck, but it didn't it was just weird feeling someone pressing on my tummy, but it feeling like my foot was asleep. lol
Riley was born at 8:39 p.m.!!! In my birth plan the screen was to be pulled down so I could see my baby coming out. But they didn't do it. I had even discussed it with my Dr....but no one took it down. The Dr. pulled Riley out, and I didn't hear him cry. I heard a few grunts, but no crying like you read should happen and happens in movies. But as I felt Riley being pulled from me I looked at Chuck and had this amazing feeling of accomplishment. I cried and told him congrats daddy!!!
Riley still wasn't crying and was only making little grunts once in a while. I started to get really worried. They weren't bringing him over to me, and I was almost all the way put back together again before I saw him. But it was just for a brief second then they took him to what they told me was the nursery. As it turned out they really took him to the NICU. Chuck followed him and I went to a recover room.
The nurse that was taking care of me was really having a hard time finding a med that would work for me. I burn through pretty fast, and so it is hard for them to actually take effect. After having enough painkillers to knock out a horse as they put it....we finally found one that worked, and I was wiggling my toes in no time. The nursed kept telling me that I had saved Riley's life by coming in to be checked as the umbilical cord was wrapped twice around his neck, and after testing the blood in the cord....they found that half of the cord wasn't receiving adequate oxygen or circulation. Riley wouldn't have survived much longer if I had waited. The Nurse wheeled me in a bed through what they once again called the nursery..... (I think they were saying that so I wouldn't panic) and I saw Riley for a minute, but don't really remember it. I tried to nurse but wasn't successful. I was wheeled to the post partum wing and settled into my own room!!!
Chuck would text me about Riley and sent me a few pics. It wasn't looking good for out little guy. He was having problems with his breathing. He would breath really fast which wasn't good, and then his breathing would get shallow. He was having a hard time transitioning his lungs. Then his blood sugar was dipping dangerously low. They said he had to stay there. I didn't get to see my little man for almost 1 1/2 days. But Chuck stayed by his side the entire time. Chuck was there the whole time running from one wing to the other checking on Riley and Checking on me and holding my hand.
My nurse tried to let me go see Riley, but when I was sitting straight up I got super sick and dizzy and then almost couldn't see. I felt like throwing up and couldn't be upright anymore. I had to lay back down and couldn't go see my little man. Chuck still stayed and took care of us. Finally I was able to go visit Riley in a wheel chair later that night, and holding him was awesome. Although I wasn't attached to him. I wasn't feeling that instant bond everyone told me about. The only reason I felt he was mine, was because he looked just like Chuck, and had the Cardon nose, and a head full of white hair. I liked him but I wasn't feeling that instant love for him. It was stressing me out a little because i could see obvious changes in Chuck as he was bonding with this little guy, and I wasn't. I was afraid I wouldn't fall in love with him and have a connection.
But I kept at it. I started pumping the night of my surgery. The girl who showed me the pump didn't inform me correctly about how to use it. The info she gave me was pretty off. I was pumping every 3 hours which is okay....but I was pumping on the highest setting which is a good recipe for cracking and bleeding. By the next morning I was in a lot of pain.....but I didn't care....I was going to do it anyways because my little man needed it, and I wanted to be a good mommy. We were trying latching but not having any success with it. Riley was still having issues with his breathing and blood sugar. He got out of the NICU for about a half hour before they took him back. Then he got out for the night only to be taken back in. Then he spent another day and night in. That night is when I was first able to bond with Riley. Seeing as how Chuck had been awake for days he needed to go home to sleep. He wheeled me down to the NICU and left me there. I had pumped and fed Riley on my own. I also had to change his diaper and take his temp on my own. Then I just laid in the chair and held him skin to skin for hours. Then I walked back to my room pushing my wheelchair and ate dinner and then pumped again to take for his 1a.m. feeding. I walked the milk to the NICU and when I walked in I could hear him fussing. He really doesn't cry which is weird. When he gets shots, has a bath or anything he doesn't cry. He grunts and gets fussy when he needs to be fed, has a dirty diaper, or needs to be burped. I waddled over to him since my incision still hurt, and started to care for him. I watched the Nurse and felt like crying when I knew I needed to leave him and go back to the room. When I realized I wanted to break down and cry I knew it was time to go as this wasn't anything to cry about and I was just sleep deprived, and had out of control hormones.
The next day Riley started doing a lot better. The Dr. realised that he has Reflux which makes it hard for him to keep food down. His blood sugar was better, and his breathing was under control. But they still wanted to monitor him for one more day and night. We got Riley back on Saturday afternoon and was released from the hospital late Sunday.
I was a little disappointed that I was not able to give natural birth, but if I had made that choice then we would not have Riley with us today. The hospital stay was not the usual relaxing one that I get. Normally I love a nice stay in the hospital. I usually get a lot of rest, and I love it. But this time had a lot of stress, and it was so loud! You would think that they would sound proof the rooms better, and make it so the doors are quieter. But unfortunately you could hear everyone that was around us in other rooms, and could hear all of the loud neighbors visitors. You could hear all the other babies crying all the time. And that would get all the other babies worked up. Luckily Riley is a very mellow little man and nothing seems to really get him worked up. The door to my room was insanely loud when the nurses would open the door. It wasn't loud to open, but they would burst through the door like it was a heavy vault door and it was loud. And people constantly came barging in, so getting rest was next to impossible. But the staff were pretty awesome. The nurses were great, the food was good most of the time, and the rooms were always clean. My baby was really taken care of, and I didn't have to worry that he was being neglected.
I am sure I am leaving something out, but I will keep blogging and if I remember something, then I will add it to another blog.
I want to thank everyone so much for all the well wishes and messages that were left for us. We tried to answer all of them, but I think a few fell through the cracks. But really I really appreciate everything everyone has done for us. We are so excited to have our little man in our lives, and we are thankful that he's healthy now.